And that was that ...

[crossflow]

Well, been a while since I posted here. Last time was around October 05. I had just split with my wife, feeling very confused and alone and found the site really just to chat with people in similar circumstances.

 

Since then it's been a nightmare, my wife tried to commit suicide twice (once in front of the kids) she fabricated an assault charge against me and I ended up getting arrested, I got full custody of both kids, she quit her job and went to go back to the UK after telling my 13 year old she would never see her again. Couldn't leave the Country as she had a warrant out on her for non payment of child support, she got another job, quit that when she got served her divorce papers, Upset my daugher so much on a weekend visit that she didn't go back to see her mum for 3 Months, I met someone else, she still hasn't paid a cent in child support, tried mediation twice, she refused to see the kids over Christmas (what the?) and my Divorce comes through in two weeks.

 

Phew.

 

It is now 14 Months since I split. I met someone else about 5 Months ago and she makes me so happy, I actually look forward to getting up in the mornings. I moved to a 20 acre property up in the Mountains with the most stunning views, bought a horse for my daughter and myself and we have started riding together. My daughter is the happiest I have ever seen her.

 

My 4 year old boy just loves everything, always full of smiles and love. And after 14 Months of complete crap I have finally managed to be at peace.

 

I have a new partner that really appreciates me and the kids and is really cool with me wanting to take it nice and slow.

 

Life in a word is great.

 

I am still on NC with the ex unless it is specifically to do with the kids and that has really helped with my sanity.

 

When I first came here I felt like my world had caved in on me and the help I got here really did make a difference.

 

The advice really helped and just knowing I wasn't the only one going through this really made a difference too.

 

I knew at some point it had to get better, couldn't really get much worse, but I stayed true to myself, focussed on the needs of the kids and my needs and got through it.

 

It was tough, especially trying to sort out all the kids needs after my ex decided not to pick them up one day and then sent a letter to my lawyer telling me to keep them, but it was worth it and was the best move I ever made.

 

The biggest change for me was learning to love who I am, and to be happy with myself. Once I got that sorted out the rest wasn't so bad.

 

So, if you are going through this yourself, my advice, hang in there, it does get better and don't be influenced by what your ex is doing. Stay true to yourself and focus on what YOU need, don't get sucked into addressing their needs, leave that to them to manage.

 

Thanks to everyone that helped me out, I can never repay the kindness I received from people on here that didn't even know me, but maybe if I can offer hope, that is a start.

[kadvati79]

I want to be the first to say. Well done. Really. You credit the people on the forums but really mate... you did this all yourself. May we all find the strength to do half as well.

[crossflow]

Hey thanks, appreciate it.