what do i do???

[Nb708]

kinda long story but here goes

so thers this girl i go to school with that ive liked for the past 2 years or so. i think she definetly liked me too, but before it could go anywhere, i got really mad at her over something and was kinda mean and rejected her fer like a month or 2. well im not one to hold grudges, and i realized after that i was still crazy about her. i just cant stop thinking about her or what we could have had. well that was about 7 or 8 months ago and the problem is that i think she likes someone else now. we're still friends and we talk like every day, but the relationship isnt what it used to be. how can i get her back, or at least the chance to??

[TheRedQueen]

That's simple, tell her how you feel.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA Nb! Good to have you here...

 

Well, it sounds like it's high time to come clean and fess up your feelings my friend. You're going to have to explore the reason or reasons you rejected her before and make sure things are straight in your mind and heart before doing talking I'd say. I think it will be an uphill battle overcoming that lengthy period of rejection but one I think you've got to roll the dice with. Either way, come or go with the relationship, if you let the deeper-than-friendship feelings you have now fester, things will get weird between you two at some point I guarantee it, especially if another guy enters the picture.

 

Time to do some investigation as to why you initially rejected her and once that is in order, it's time to ball up and go for this ASAP before things with this other guy get serious. And remember you have a solid basis of friendship with her he won't be able to hold a candle to.

[vandgsmom]

Red and Friscodj make good points, but you also need to arm yourself with the possibility that she may have gotten tired of waiting around for you and have moved so far on that you may not look good to her anymore.

 

We always tend to root for the underdog (which is you in this case), but try to balance your wanting her back with her best interests in mind. She may be happy in her new relationship, and things may be great.

 

Think first, is all I am saying. Don't just barge in where you may not be welcome. Past that, I wish you all the good luck in the world. (Reserving some for myself, of course)

[Nb708]

the main problem is that i never expressed my feelings to her before and doubted the fact the she really did have feel the same way. but now the i look at the way she is now, it seems to me that she had feelings for me and maybe i just doubeted myself too much. but now it seems like all of those old feelings she ever had are gone. it kills me to know that when i rejected her completely, she was still trying to get my attention, but now that im sure i have feelings for her, it seems like she feels we're just friends.

[TheRedQueen]

you also need to arm yourself with the possibility that she may have gotten tired of waiting around for you and have moved so far on that you may not look good to her anymore.

Great point, this should definitely be considered as well.

[Nb708]

and also i know the new guy older that she likes has no feelings to her whatsoever. maybe she just has a simple crush. regardless im not sensing any of her old feeling back towards me like i used to.

[TheRedQueen]

the main problem is that i never expressed my feelings to her before and doubted the fact the she really did have feel the same way. but now the i look at the way she is now, it seems to me that she had feelings for me and maybe i just doubeted myself too much. but now it seems like all of those old feelings she ever had are gone. it kills me to know that when i rejected her completely, she was still trying to get my attention, but now that im sure i have feelings for her, it seems like she feels we're just friends.

Ain't this the story of my life. \\

 

You may in fact be too late, but if there's a substantial history between you, you might still have a chance.

[TheRedQueen]

and also i know the new guy older that she likes has no feelings to her whatsoever. maybe she just has a simple crush. regardless im not sensing any of her old feeling back towards me like i used to.

Well then maybe she's over you, and you're wasting your time.

[vandgsmom]

If you have a long standing friendship to build on, and there is no commited bf in the way, then BUILD on it.

 

Coming out and suddenly confessing your feelings does not always inspire movie-esque scenes of passion and roses.

 

Gradually commit more time to showing her the romantic side of you, and ask her on a date. Dazzle her. Your actions speak louder than your words do, anyway.

[vandgsmom]

and also i know the new guy older that she likes has no feelings to her whatsoever. maybe she just has a simple crush. regardless im not sensing any of her old feeling back towards me like i used to.

 

I don't necessarily blame her, since you said yourself that you rejected her for no good reason.

 

Burn me once; shame on you. Burn me twice; shame on ME.

 

She is only practicing sound relationship logic, it seems.

[friscodj]

the main problem is that i never expressed my feelings to her before and doubted the fact the she really did have feel the same way. but now the i look at the way she is now, it seems to me that she had feelings for me and maybe i just doubeted myself too much. but now it seems like all of those old feelings she ever had are gone. it kills me to know that when i rejected her completely, she was still trying to get my attention, but now that im sure i have feelings for her, it seems like she feels we're just friends.

 

This is good analysis Nb, you should trust yourself more I think...

 

You see, the truth of the situation, i.e., her feelings for you, is already established. Your goal here is to find out what that truth is for your own sake and that of the friendship. You don't want this hanging over your head or the friendship. That's why I say you should find out what that truth is and in the process, cleanse yourself of what could potentially be feelings that generate regret for you and/or weirdness down the line in the friendship. So even if you think the depth of her feelings for you reach only friendship, taking the journey to find the truth here will be the best thing for this situation. She might have a lot more to say than you think, good or bad, and getting it all out is the way to go I think.