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CONFUSED.... :s


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I know I've been venting on here a lot lately, I'm sorry, just bear with me.

 

I decided yesterday it might be better if i break up with my bf as i have a lot of work coming up in the next month and i really want to make sure i do a good job. things are going to be crazy and until my reviews are over i didn't want to be tied up in an emotional mess.

 

Anyways, he was on MSN yesterday, and i started to bring it up. I just told him i was going to be busy, i wouldn't have time for the relationship, and if he wanted to wait it out until next month fine but visiting each other wouldn't be a good thing for me for at least a month.

 

He started saying how much he understood cuz he gets into places like that at his work too. Then I asked him, so what do you want to do, wait, or let it go? And he got VERY hurt, offended, and upset.

 

 

We got into a huge fight on MSN. Long story short he said he thought I had feelings for him and that he works 80 hour weeks but still finds time to come see me and he did all this stuff for me and he thought we at least had a chance. I pretty much told him i noticed hes been distant and different on the phone and I was honest with him that that was making me feel confused and anxious about everything.

 

Anyways. In the end he said "I think you are an intelligent, beautiful, and wonderful person, and I don't want to give you up without a fight. So I think we should chat on MSN and email until next month and we'll see where we are then".

 

I'm so confused. The only reason I wanted to break u pwith him, is because I thought he wasn't into me anymore, and the depression that caused wasn't worth it. And then when he got upset, I realized he really was. I just honestly don't understand whats going on. He said he doesn't want to talk on the phone until I'm ready to see him again. I don't even know if this means we are broken up or if we are still together or if we are seeing other people or what. I want to know. But I'm scared to ask him because I'm scared he will get offended by it again.

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well it sounds like you both like each other... there's nothing wrong with being busy for a month

 

in a way though, you made it sound like you only wanted to break up with him for a month or so.. if you do this, don't just put him on the back burner and then bring him back into your life when you are not busy again. Relationships have ups and downs and if you aren't bothered to put effort in when you are busy or tired or up or down, then maybe you shouldn't be in it?

 

The way you are doubting this though, make me think that you do not want to break up with him

would you miss him .. or would you be on the lookout for someone else if you broke up?

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In response to some of your questions (sorry its taken me so long guys)

 

would you miss him .. or would you be on the lookout for someone else if you broke up?

 

yes i would miss him... i wouldn't really be on the lookout for anyone else, if the opportunity came up i would go out with my friends or other guys if they asked me out just to get my mind off him.

 

Please be honest here..............are you testing your BF to gauge his reaction?

 

Thats a good question. In a way, I was. I was kinda getting really worried about the way we got so distant over christmas break and i was scared he wanted to break up with me. So it wasn't really a test, it was just giving him an out to see if he would take it. Which is kinda like a test,I guess. It really threw me off when he got upset because I didn't think he cared that much. When I realized how much he wanted this to work, it made me miss him even more.

 

I sent him an email yesterday telling him I was worried about him (the roads have been REALLY bad here and we just had a big blizzard) and that I was sorry if I made it seem like I didn't care about this... cuz I do. He hasn't replied. He was on MSN earlier and didn't even say hi and when i said hi to him he signed off. Why would he say "i don't want to give you up without a fight" and then continue this behaviour???

 

I dunno. My emotions have been a huge rollercoaster ride with this guy, worse than its ever been. I think I'm going to try to put him out of my mind for a few weeks and if we work out after that I'm gonna have to let him know his behaviour is unacceptable.

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