Very Confused about the relationship I'm in and my ex...

[kennyb2112]

Well, I don't know where to start, but I'll do my best. I've been dating a new girl for the past 6 months. Everything was going great and I started to lover her. I'm in a band (I also have a real day job) and my new girlfriend has been very supportive of my music. My ex had a problem with my band. Keep in mind, I wasn't touring or anything major like that. We kept it pretty local and practice was limited to two days a week for about two to three hours. That was the majority cause of our problems. We used to get in major screaming arguments. Now that she's my ex and I'm with this new girl, I've been having dreams about her and I've been thinking about her alot. This started about a month ago. Hindsight is always 20/20 and now I'm realizing that I've already gotten what I wanted out of being in a band. All my ex wanted, was to be engaged and eventually have children. Anyway, I've realized that I am willing to give up the band thing. I've mentioned these feelings to my ex and now she's putting up a wall. Although she's putting up this wall, we did have a lunch date, and it was awesome. Recently, there hasn't been any sparks with my new girlfriend and our sex life has been reduced to, maybe just once a week if at all. It;s not just me but lately it seems I haven't had any reciprocation (did I spell that correctly?) from my new girlfriend. For example, she went out of town to Delaware about three weeks ago. Her, her father, and her brother go there once a year for about two weeks. It's an emotional time for her, because her mother passed away about 2 yrs ago and I understand that it would be emotional for her. Nevertheless, I don't ask for much, but the whole time she was up there I would be the one who said "...I miss you." or "Luv ya, can't wait 'til you get back." All she had to say was "me too". I mean, it was like I was talking to one of my buddies. I let it roll off my back. It seems like I'm always the romantic one. Now my ex girlfriend, on the other hand loved that I kind of stuff. We were very much in love when we weren't arguing. Now I'm kicking myself in the arse for not making that sacrifice! Our sex life was good, too. I know what I should do but I really don't know what steps to take in going about it. I just feel that no matter what, I'm meant to be with my ex. I know that if I op to try and get back together with my exgirlfriend, its going to be a huge uphill battle with no guarentees. I think I'm willing to make effort. Even if she is a bit of a spoiled brat and has issues. I'm so confused!

[HippoXNinja]

Geez, that sucks that she just isn't hearing you out about how you feel and stuff. Personally, I think its f'd up that she couldn't deal with the band thing, specially since you weren't touring. But it seems you had a very good relationship despite that. Keep trying to get through to her no matter what. If she's absolutely hell bent on not ever giving you a second shot then F it.

[kennyb2112]

Thanks for the advice. This just in....The girl i'm dating now is acting strange now. She's pulling one of those "I just need time to myself..." and "I'd like to slow down.." things. If this continues, I guess it should make things a little easier as far as allowing me more time to focus on trying to work out things with my ex. My ex's birthday is coming up this weekend. Should I do anything huge for her or should I just send her a birthday card or E-card? Any ideas on what my next move should be? Thanks again.