A question for the singles...

[Kevin T]

I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this idea: I'm thinking about years from now, of course. I'm still relatively young (so they say), but I like to think big; about the future. I've been thinking, if I never get married, I'd still like to adopt a child. There's the matter of legality, and waiting lists, of course, but I really want to have at least one child of my own to love and care for. Is this odd?

 

So, my question only applies to the singles: Have any of you ever thought about pursuing adoption, regardless of marriage? Being a parent is an enormous responsibility - one I am far from ready for yet - but I can't imagine going my entire life without raising a child. It's something I've looked forward to for years; and I know I'd make a great dad. So, even if I never get married, I'd still like to be a dad. Have any of you ever considered this (whether you are male or female)?

 

(BTW, I firmly believe that a child needs two parents to grow up well adjusted, so it's kind of weird that I would think this way. And yet I do, so go figure. Guess I don't believe that as much as I think, huh?)

[hosswhispra]

That's awesome that you want to be a dad Kevin T. I have faith that you will meet someone, fall in love and get married. I firmly believe it will happen for you.

 

Yes, I have thought of single adoption and am still actively thinking of it. It would be nice to meet someone, fall in love and have a family. BUT again if that's not meant to be I would seriously consider single adoption. China is one country I considered adopting from. But come May 2007 they will no longer allow singles to adopt, people over 50, obese individuals and a net worth of $80,000 will be required. So I am researching other countries......Even if I did meet someone, fall in love and get married, I still would think about adoption.

[applepie]

That's awesome that you want to be a dad Kevin T. I have faith that you will meet someone, fall in love and get married. I firmly believe it will happen for you.

 

Yes, I have thought of single adoption and am still actively thinking of it. It would be nice to meet someone, fall in love and have a family. BUT again if that's not meant to be I would seriously consider single adoption. China is one country I considered adopting from. But come May 2007 they will no longer allow singles to adopt, people over 50, obese individuals and a net worth of $80,000 will be required. So I am researching other countries......Even if I did meet someone, fall in love and get married, I still would think about adoption.

 

Are you serious?

[hosswhispra]

Are you serious?

 

Unfortunately, yes--take a look here:

 

link removed

[shikashika]

Unfortunately, yes--take a look here:

 

link removed

 

well I agree... somewhat.. if they are so unhealthy they can't look after themselves, how on earth can they look after a child???

 

and what kind of example will they be setting for them by letting the little ones drink koolaide and mucn on maccies?

 

obesity is a serious disease, which is comletely curable

 

to your question no i would not... i love kids and hope to have them one day... but I wouldn't have one outside of marriage.. i'm pretty open about a lot of stuff but not that... kids outside of marriage is not for me

[Batya33]

I am on the same exact wavelength as you - I do believe though that adopting a child at least makes a person somewhat of a hero because the child is already here and has no parents, as opposed to bringing a child into this world knowing you are depriving that child of a two-parent home from the starting gate (obviously situations can change in a heartbeat but I believe the child deserves at minimum to be born into a two-parent reasonably stable home).

[adoracion]

I'm single and I've thought about adoption. I don't have any kids now, but even if I had biological children I'd still consider it.

 

The way I look at it, yes, I would much rather raise children in a two-parent household. However, many of them would just get pushed through the system. Better me raising them as a single woman than the system raising them.

[Kevin T]

That's awesome that you want to be a dad Kevin T. I have faith that you will meet someone, fall in love and get married. I firmly believe it will happen for you.

 

Yes, I have thought of single adoption and am still actively thinking of it. It would be nice to meet someone, fall in love and have a family. BUT again if that's not meant to be I would seriously consider single adoption. China is one country I considered adopting from. But come May 2007 they will no longer allow singles to adopt, people over 50, obese individuals and a net worth of $80,000 will be required. So I am researching other countries......Even if I did meet someone, fall in love and get married, I still would think about adoption.

 

Yeah, the former will most likely never happen, but thanks anyway. Not sure if I can blame "fate" or whatever, since placing blame doesn't help either way anyway. It would've been nice to have offspring of my own, but even if I can't, I'd love to be a father to someone who earnestly needs one!

 

I do appreciate your compliment though. Thanks. I've always liked kids, even though I speak to them as though they were adults. lmao I love the idea of being able to make my life COUNT for something and impart some of my wisdom into the next generation. I have so much love to give anyway, so who cares if it's not on some woman? Children are going to be the future leaders of tomorrow, so they are VERY important!

 

I have been thinking of maybe a child from somewhere in Africa... or maybe China. I don't really care where they come from, just as long as they need a good home. I live in Canada, so that may not apply to me... (not letting singles adopt!!!) and if it does... that is such BS. I don't agree with that at all. But I'll find a way to accomplish my dreams one way or the other... without relying on some woman to do so.

 

I honestly wish I were finished school now and had a good job. I'd be looking into adopting as we speak. I hate wasting my life... and that's all I've been doing these last 24 years. It's time I did something that matters and made a difference in someone's life.

 

Has anyone else considered this, or are there relatively few of us "weirdos" out there who have thought of this crazy scheme?

[Kevin T]

Hmm, I guess most of you either:

 

A) Don't want kids

 

or

 

B) Plan on procreating the old fashioned way

[piggypooh]

I USED to want kids when I was in my 20's but now I'm 35 and I get put off the idea more and more each day.

I teach kids and see the worst in them and just don't want all the hassle and trouble that they bring. I CERTAINLY don't believe that the rewards outweigh the negatives, but if you think otherwise thats your choice, my choice is NO kids, whether by adoption or nautural means.

In a way it feels good because I have zero paternalistic instictcs and thereforeeee don't have this burning desire to be a father. I do feel for those who DO wish to have families and are unable to, but its my right to choose and I choose not to

[Kevin T]

To each his own, right?

 

No point in bringing kids into the world that aren't going to be loved and cared for. There's too much of that already.

[piggypooh]

I know that if i did have children then i'd love them with all my heart, but, with that love, will come a lot of emotional stress and worry and anxiety which i know I cannot go through. Its hard to explain but i already know my own limits and capabailities and, for me, i'd rather not go through all that as it will have a detrimental effect on my and the rest of my family. I know people will criticise what I say and agrue that I can't possibly know because I have never experienced being a parent and of course, they are right, but my experiences in life, and what I already know about loving children and the sacrifices involed, has left me with this fear and knowledge that I KNOW I will not be able to cope.

[Batya33]

I think there are parents who know very little about raising children and people who have never been parents who know a lot. You don't have to experience something first hand to have knowledge and an opinion.

[piggypooh]

I think there are parents who know very little about raising children and people who have never been parents who know a lot. You don't have to experience something first hand to have knowledge and an opinion.

 

 

And too many people who raise children who shouldn't. In UK, they ban peopl from looking after animals if they are mistreated - yet many of these ppl have kids and abuse them and mistreat them. I think ppl should be screened in some way before planning a family. people who work with children need police checks, so why not for ppl who want to HAVE children ? If a person can't work with kids then having their own should alos not be allowed.

[Batya33]

Interesting but the problem is that that level of government regulation probably would cross the line too much. At least there is child protective services and similar agencies in the U.S and Europe (and likely many other countries) so that if the child is abused they can be taken away from the parent or parenting classes given.

[piggypooh]

Prevention is better than cure.

 

An unconceived child is better than an abused messed up miserable person. Controversial perhaps, but when you think about it..............

 

"I don't want to Die, I sometimes wish Id never been born at all" Freddie Mercury 1975

[g1234567890h]

Hey, I wanted to jump in on this and say that I'm in the exact same boat as you. After I get my PhD, a good income, and a house I'm going to adopt a child from overseas, with or without a wife. I'm a preschool teacher who also works with infants, so I know I can be a great parent on my own or with someone. I definitely want to do that.