I need some advice please!!

[cordelia]

Hey, I've posted here before about breaking up with my ex a little over a month ago. I was totally devastaed at first but I've been doing better and I'm okay on my own, and just keeping myself busy with other things.

 

Here's the problem : I met this guy on new years eve. Really nice, really cute and we definitely hit it off and had a lot in common. He's really good friends with one of my closest friends and her boyfriend. They think we would be great together and that I should just go for it cause he's a great guy.

 

I feel like I'm not ready to date someone new just yet. I guess I'm still not completely over the last break up, and I'm okay on my own but the idea dating someone new just feels really strange right now.

 

This guy and I have exchanged a few emails and he's tried calling me but I didn't call him back. I told him sorry I missed his call, been busy etc. Now he says he's going to call me again tonite and I don't know what to say to that.

 

Should I just send him an email telling him how I feel, even though we haven't even gone on a date yet ?

 

I sort of feel pressured by my friends who thinks I should go for it. Or should I give this guy one date and see how if goes ?

 

I'm really confused...I feel like I need more time to heal. Any advice would be appreciated!

[HDD]

i truly believe you should give yourself more time to heal. Dont get involved in a relationship where you can't give your 100% to the guy... its not fair to him. If you two get along very well, then you should be able to just tell him as a friend that you dont want anything more than a frienship, at least for the time being. He should understand that. Dont rush into anything and get your heart or his heart broken again. Take it easy. At least you have someone who is interested in you already, that should give you a little boost!!

 

This is almost my third week of NC with my bf and it feels like a lifetime. I cannot even imagine going into a new relationship without healing completely. I need my time and time to think through everything that went wrong. I wish he would just call me since he is the one who wanted to move on. I just have to be patient and see what the future holds.

 

Good Luck ! let me know how you're doing!

[Dako]

I'd be concerned about dating if you aren't ready.

You risk forming a rebound attachment, or simply hurting the guy's feelings if you aren't up to it. He may then feel like a recovery tool.

[cordelia]

Thanks guys. I was thinking the same thing, obviously it doesn't feel right if I'm hesitating this much. I feel sort of weird about though cause I have to tell him and also tell my friends!

 

Like I said though, we haven't even gone a date yet. So how do I say this to him ? Just send him an email that says I'm only interested in being friends right now ?

 

Hang in there HDD, trust me I know how you feel! The first 3 weeks were brutal. I had to fight every urge to call him, or message him etc. but I managed to stop myself.

And I'm doing a lot better now. It will get easier over time, trust me.

[Dako]

Any decent guy would understand.

Just promise to kep him in mind when you feel stronger.