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Remembering my mom -- again

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My mother passed away in 2004. Some of you know this...


Id like to share something with you that means alot to me. Its a poem, on her wall at her house. Next to the poem is a picture, of my mother, her three sisters, and my grandmother. They are out to lunch and they all are wearing purple, with red hats that dont go.


Not long after that my grandmother got sick and she didnt come home from the hospital that time...... Mom went not long after that.


Id give anything to hear them say 'southerngirl' just one more time.


So, here it is...... if there is something you could do for me...

Remember to wear purple.






With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Taken from the book

When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

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Im going to start potty training my son. He just turned two. He doesnt seem to want to try it. Mom was a big help training my oldest, I wish she was still here.


I guess I could go on an on about all the things I wish she were here for.


I guess I should be grateful that she was able to spend 26 years with me. None of thats going to bring her back.

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I loved the poem.


With a new baby and all....potty training your son might be a challenge (epsecially if your son decides that he too wants to remain "a baby" and continue to use diapers)


I'm sure you are a great mom and you will use some of the techniques your mom used and it will all work out.


Maybe if you decorate your bathroom in purple it will help.



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I am sorry for your loss. I am younger than you but could not imagine losing my mother, especially so young.


I'm sure you have heard about this method already, but to potty train one of my cousins, her mother made a sticker chart. The girl would get a sticker everytime she went all by herself, and then a certain number of stickers would add up to a prize/present (something small). The child was really excited about it! Maybe something similar would work?

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I cant exactly feel your pain but I can sympathize. My mom lives in Canada and it's hard to be away from her physically all year long, I see her once a year at christmas. She has schyzophrenia, smokes 2 packs a day and drink 1 liter of pepsi a day. I subsconsciously prepare myself to lose her someday soon and the thought of that hurts my heart.

I dont know how your mother died, but I hope she had the chance to do all the things that poem says.. to run in the rain and drink brandy and eat 3 pounds of sausage at a time.. I hope your mom died a happy woman, with her hair down flowing in the wind. She may not be here physically, but she is surely proud of you as a mother and she is within you, has left you with thousands of life lessons and treausres to share with your son. In the still moment. im sure you can still hear her voice in your heart telling how much she loves you.

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Bella... oh yeah its tough, he just isnt interested. I ask him about potty training and he shakes his head no. Ahhh Ill keep asking and hoping that soon he will be interested in it. Theres still time he just turned two.


Thank you Sophie... thats a great idea! If he were a little older that may work, once I can get him to actually try it out.


Ash.. wow I can only hope so. Thank you for that, almost made me cry.


Thank you Ellie.


Goodness v8vchon what a hard spot your going through too~ (((HUGS)))

She had cancer, and it wasnt a sudden death but it wasnt the way Id liked to have seen her go. She did have lots of fun though there in the last few years. If you know that song 'live like you were dying' it is COUNTRY but it really does remind me of her. She told me that she would be be blessed with everyday that she was able to see the sun rise again.. she sure lived that way. She showed me what it was to really enjoy life and just the thrill of being alive. Sure, I can remember lots of bad things too but I have been coming to peace with the fact that she was human. She loved me and I knew love.. That is what matters in the end.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry for your loss southern girl haven't posted my own thread about it yet maybe some of the ENA community remember my post about my mom and how she was sick with cancer well she died on the 16 last month. I just need you to remember one thing you had 26 years i had 15 remember that one thing, you had all that time with her. I would give a lung to have her for another 11. Cherish the time you had I cherish mine. Never feel sorry about it the fact she passed you will see her again. My mother passed 1 month ago and I have not cried a tear for one reason. She is in a better place and I know that in my heart. There are lots of pictures lots of memories and I am ok with her gone. Feeling sorry will only bring back sorrow and that is never good. Be happy take potty training the 2 year old like a new challenge. Prove to yourself you can do it and prove to your mom how responsible, loving ,and special a person she raised. Remember she had 26 years with you here to and when it all comes down to it those were the best years of her life as well.

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