Got an 18 year-old pregnant who was cheating on boyfriend.

[Danielle]

This could fall into a number of categories, and is actually on behalf of my brother.

 

He's 23. He slept with an 18 year-old who has a boyfriend, and she's now pregnant. The medical tests pinpoint conception to within a week of their having sex. They didn't use a condom (although she says she uses one with her boyfriend).

 

Background: The girl is actually my brother's ex-girlfriend's SISTER. She was in town briefly when they got together, but otherwise they live in separate cities. The girl (who I'll call Jackie) currently has a boyfriend, who is apparently a jerk (according to her sister/the ex, who I'll call Monica). The boyfriend (aka "Jerk") knows that Jackie is pregnant. He doesn't know that it [probably] belongs to my brother ("Edward"). If he were to find out that Jackie cheated on him, he would dump her.

 

Edward and Jackie didn't use a condom because Jackie told him that she has a condition that renders her "barren." After she got pregnant, however, Monica told Edward that her chances of ever getting pregnant are more like 20% (evidently).

 

Jackie wants to keep the child, because she's afraid she'll never be able to conceive again. Edward, who lives in another city, has plans to go back to school and build a better life for himself. He's not able to talk with Jackie because the intensely jealous Jerk monitors her every move, and they live together.

 

I have personally never been in this sort of situation, but I told my brother Edward that a) he needs to talk with Jackie, b) he needs to be responsible yet not give up his goals, c) that he's not obligated to marry her just because she's pregnant, and that it would be in fact a bad idea at their ages (in my opinion), and d) that no matter what happens, Jackie needs to break up with Jerk.

 

If the DNA tests prove that it is indeed Edward's child, what do you think is the right thing for him to do?

[Gunther]

I think that from what you have said {which is a bit byist LoL} that Edward would likly make the better father. Also if jerk is as jelous as you say he is jackie needs to get away from him. just my .02 {these were a little byist, but I dont know what kind of job "jerk" has.

[Danielle]

Yes, of course my brother would make the "better" father, but that's not the issue. I want to figure out what's best for him. And I don't know that being a full-time daddy would be that.

 

At the same time, I want him to do what's right, whatever that may be in this context.

[dragon26]

Your brother can only make the right decision for himself. She obviously wants to keep the baby. If he wants to be part of his baby's life, he should get that confirmed, and arrange some type of legal custody (he should do this when the baby is born no matter what - even if its only to relenquish custody). The fact that she has a boyfriend that might find out is not his concern, its hers. He shouldn't change his plans if he decides to be the father - a happy father who loves their child is better than one that is resentful.