what would you do?

[TheGirlInTheOtherRoom]

Ok, so I've been dating this absolutely amazing guy for three months now - we ARE in a "relationship" and he refers to us as a "couple" - although he has an aversion to the word "girlfriend" but he knows I call him my boyfriend and he's ok with that.

 

Quick little background - we met in October at a club. He's everything I've wanted for a long time and HE'S the one who's always texting me - HE'S the one who always asks me, "you comin' over tonight?" (in the past 2 weeks, since Christmas - I've spent the night 9 out of 14 days over there). He ALWAYS has dinner made for me. He pays for everything. When we go out he holds my hand. Kisses me in public - everything is GREAT. I got very sick on New years when I was out with my best friend and when I quit texting him - he realized something was wrong and he called her when he couldn't get ahold of me to make sure I was ok. He went all out for me at Christmas time and is comfortable telling me all about his family / friends / work, etc...he really doesn't hide anything.

 

Except...well - one thing that I came accross last night. So - I know that he USED to do the online dating thing - as have I done in my past - and that's not a big deal...however - I was playing around with his yahoo profile (he gave me his yahoo name to IM him) and came accross the fact that he still has a yahoo Personal Ad up. And what really irks me is the fact that it says, "active within 24 hours"...if it had SAID "3 months" or even "1 or 2 months" i wouldn't be making this an issue.

 

 

Thing is - should I just forget about it? Or bring it up to him? yes, it is bothering me that it's there. I know he can't be a paying member because he's always complaining about never having enough $$ to do things - pay bills, etc...so he'd NEVER be "wasting" money on something like that - but it still irks me.

 

 

And, yes - I personally have "trust issues" only because of things that have happened to me in the past. He's not GIVEN me ANY reason what-so-ever NOT to trust him...but neither did the guys in my past either...not until the "bomb" dropped so to say. Believe me, i WANT to trust him but I know that will only come with more time.

 

So would you guys ask him about the yahoo ad? or not? part of me feels as if it's "snooping" even though it's a PUBLIC website and he DID give me his yahoo mail addy/im name...

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

you know what, yeah, I would talk to him about it. I've been in a similar situation in the past, and I let it slide but in hindsight, I wish I didn't!!!! It would have saved me some heartache, but now I know better....

 

just tell him what you told us and see what he says, and if you believe his explanation.

 

personally, the "I don't like the gf title" kind of smells fishy to me. What's the big deal about calling someone your gf? especially if he is already doing other "boyfriend" type stuff (except for the online profile, which is definitely not good boyfriend behavior!) which is why you should ask him what is up.

[DreamerPL7]

I as a guy if I met someone that I went all out for texted her made dinner every night was so trusting to talk about my family and personal stuff would not dream of going and ruining it on something stupid like online dating while having the perfect person in front of me. I think he may just talk to people on yahoo, I chat on different websites from time to time it may just be something he does. Heck he might find something about you that weirds him out a bit be in your position and go to yahoo to talk to people for advice instead of enotalone. If I had not found e by pure accident I would probably be on yahoo to. If your still not sure try to get a friend to pose as a random IMer and talk to him on yahoo hell make a fake one and talk to him yourself if your afraid.It is better to be safe than sorry but if you really trust him just believe that its nothing and stop thinking about it.

 

Just to add something in to the poster above I dont like the gf title either and I do not use it I think it makes the relationship seem like a 1 minute deal it doesnt neccesarily mean theres something weird about him not calling her his girlfriend if he uses other names to come accross in that sense like baby, honey, love-of-my-life lol if he says that you know hes hooked haha.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I'd say something. Is it an add looking for dates?

[TheGirlInTheOtherRoom]

yeah - it's an ad posting on "yahoo personals" as in their dating service.

 

i mean - i totally understand if he had it from before we started dating - i actually took all of mine down in November (again - we met in October).

 

but the thing that was biting at me was the "active within 24 hours" thing.

 

i REALLY want to ask him about it - but I guess I'm just scared of the "privacy" issue and I wouldn't want him to think i was "LOOKING" / snooping - ya know?

[annie24]

well, like you said, he gave you his yahoo address..... and now he is active, I don't think you were snooping, it IS a public profile. Something smells fishy..... Phew!

[shikashika]

I don't know much about yahoo personals.. I would think its something different than being on lavalife or match.ca... online daters.. am I wrong?

 

I thought yahoo personals was more like a myspace, wayn, friendster type of community i could be wrong.

 

when it says active within 24 hours does it just mean he logged on to his personal? I dont' know..

 

maybe the next time you are on yahoo mesenger with him.. say something like.. "hey I see you have a personal... you meet many friends on there?'

 

actually I don't know.. that might sound kind of lame,