Just need outsiders opinion (marriage/divorce/lover)

[Allen Jefferson]

Thanks for helping!

[Iceman26]

Any suggestions? More time needed before even thinking about letting the right people know? All I want is to be able to not be sneaking around and just be happy with the girl I now love.

 

To be completely candid, I think you need to keep this relationship on the low until your divorce is final.

 

You should try and finish one chapter of your life before turning to the next.

[HurleyBabe6917]

What if this same thing happens to the new woman?

 

Keep her a secret. I wouldn't tell anyone around you. I know this from experience.

[Siriana]

Not that it has anything to do with your question, but next time don't be friends with abusers!

I think you need to keep that relationship a secret for now. You are allowed to have someone openly AFTER the divorce is gone.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

To make this portion short, I'll just say that I was in love with all of the qualities of this woman and then those started changing and I became unhappy over a 2 year period. I start to wodner now if I was in love with the ease of the relationship...I didnt have to do much and it worked, but now she wants so much more and I'm not willing to put into it. Ive pretty much decided months ago that I was going to be done with the marriage.

 

I wonder if your "love" for this other woman has to do with the fact that it is fun, exciting, not much work...no daily life demands. You once loved your wife as well...until the realities of life and relationships taking work started to get in the way. I think before you embark on a new relationship, ask yourself if you are ready to deal with putting yourself out there for the new woman when times get rough. Are you willing to work at things and give her what she needs, or once you will have to work at things and it won't be easy anymore, will you lose interest in her as well? Also ask yourself if you are "in love" with this new person because she "needs to be rescued" from the abusive relationship. Bear in mind, someone who is willing to be "friends with benefits" and willing to be abused has a lot of problems and will be very needy. You will ultimately have to put in work in that relationship...it won't be as easy as it appears to be now.

[dogheadma]

I believe your best bet would be to keep things private until your divorce is final.

 

I understand that might be difficult, but seems like it would be more of a strain if you had to deal with the drama of others knowing about your personal life while you're trying to get everything in order.