I am going to make my move after we dance

[sfboi415]

I know how to dance salsa, and so does this woman I've known for a while who invited me to take a class with her. Last year during the summer she told me she was seeing someone and it became difficult to take the class during the fall while knowing that I could do nothing but dance with her. Eventually I "grew up" and began to learn salsa and enjoy myself. She became a little annoyed that I didn't give her a lot of attention, and also I didn't talk to her much. The reason is because she was constantly at a man's side, (found out that he wasn't her boyfriend, just a friend from the beginning class) and I didn't want to do anything that would re-surface bad feelings.

 

Now, I'm completely over it and I will meet her at a mall to catch up on things, have lunch, talk about everything, and then invite her to a salsa dance at a club. Why? Because she is suddenly giving me signs that she's interested in me and this hasn't happened before. I need to find out if she's still with her boyfriend..so I will invite her and if she accepts, I'll tease that her boyfriend should be the one dancing with her. This will cause her to say "I'm not with him anymore" or "He doesn't like dancing salsa." It's a gamble because she still might be with him and thereforeeee I can't do anything because I don't have the skills or desire to seduce a woman away from her current relationship.

 

What are some other effective ways of finding out if a woman is still with her boyfriend, while telling her that I am interested in doing something with her? The good thing I've done is let her know that I'm dating other women..not desperate to be with her.

[dogheadma]

Your plan sounds pretty airtight. Good luck!

[chai714]

I'd keep it light and funny with her throughout my communications. The first step would be to get her number if you don't already have it. OR, since you already know her you could simultaneously get her number THEN suggest you two hang out.

 

Note that there is a difference between asking and suggesting. Asking indicates that you're seeking approval or lack confidence. Suggesting reflects confidence and is more a request than an inquiry. Usually, after having conversed with a woman I will throw a "I had fun talking with you" or "it was nice talking to you, we should do it again sometime." After either of these, I will look at her response. If she responds positively (and her body language indicates that) then I will get her number. Once you get her number, the conversation is short and sweet on the phone and is used only to set up the details of the date.

 

If she responds negatively or her body langauge is negative, I won't ask her for anything and come back later. Meanwhile, you date other women until you feel she's ready. It's much like cooking - put the ones that aren't ready on the backburner and focus on the ones that are ready. Then rotate as desired. Remember that dating is a numbers game - the more you date the closer you are to finding someone you like.

 

Most importantly, good luck and have fun.