need some advice

[HDD]

how do you get over someone whom you loved for 6 years (and still do)? my bf and i broke up more than two weeks ago I am doing the NC thing since then but I feel so desperate to call him and I know I shouldnt (i did call him twice the first week but he didnt pick up his phone and I know I should have known better. I felt like such a fool). Plus, I dont want to think about him all the time either. I dont know what he is up to and it just kills me to come to the conclusion that he hasnt called me either and we are no longer a couple. When does this feeling of anger, denial and sadness end? Does he NOT want to know how I am doing? I know he still loves me and cares for me and this is probably hard for him too. Is NC the only way to move on? I pray he realizes that he has made a mistake, and calls me one day but thats just silly of me to think. I guess its just hard for me to start thinking of myself as one entity rather than two. Also, this is my first break up which is probably why this is so hard for me. I just wish time would just fly by and heal my heart because i just want to be happy.:sad:

I am new to this forum but I have been reading your posts daily and it makes me feel so much better. Thank you.

[AllTornUp]

HDD, I sympathize with you. I went through a divorce 2.5 years ago (the marriage lasted 8yrs) and I did not handle it well at all. I did everything wrong and was absolutely miserable for 5-6 months before I finally started to let go. After I finally started to heal, get my self back, etc, I met a great girl and have been with her for 1.5 years..until now. I never thought I could hurt as bad as I did before, but I do. However, this time I am determined to follow all the great advice here and shorten the abject misery time from 5-6 months to as short as possible.

[HDD]

I guess the reason why I am hurting so bad is becuase this is my first break up (plus after 6 years being in a relationship takes a toll on your emotion) and I just dont know what to do with myself. I have been reading so many articles online on how to deal with a break up, etc and i must admit it has been helping me. But this is so hard. But i suppose it doesnt matter how many times you've broken up with someone, if you truly love him/her and care for them, you will have to face the pain. I just wish it didnt have to end this way, we kept talking about marriage and kids and all those wonderful things. and now the thought of him being with someone else, just kills me. I just have to let this all out. I cannot wait for the day when this pain goes away and i can truly feel alive and free again.

[AmIAlone1607307516]

It takes time. I am here posting my own heartache, so I know the pain. But it helps me to know that there are others here thatknow the feeling and let me know I am not alone. One person told me that I have to put myself first in my mind and not him/her. Bring that confidence back when you first met someone. When you feel positive and that confidence comes back, it will show and the right person comes along. Remember, think about yourself first. If he feels that you should get back together, then it's on him to contact you. Until then you are # 1.

We can help each other thru these things. Let me know how you are.

[HDD]

Thanks AmIAlone... that really helps. I remember the first time i had the courage to actually ask him out on a movie, i remember how confident i felt about myself. I forgot how that feels. I guess it will take time to build that confidence back but for all I know, it would be a huge mistake for me to go on any dates right now. I cannot even imagine how nervous i will be. I wont worry about that now, i just have to focus on me and do the things that I like to do. I sure wish I had him by my side. Oh well! I guess this time is really needed to reflect on things that went wrong and why the relationship did not work out... which is pretty clear why, i just need to accept it.

But talking to you all helps a lot and I feel better when I let my feelings out by communicating with everyone. I need to work on that too... that was one of my problems, i never used to just let it out, i kept my feelings bottled up and that just drove me crazy. I should just be able to say whats on my mind... why should i care about upsetting them, when it is infact upsetting me. Its not fair to them to now know how i feel, right? Talking helps, no matter what. i am trying to change that. It is healthier to let everything out and just be honest with oneself.

[HDD]

Correction:

Its not fair to them to not know how i feel, right?