Saw her last night at practice

[samross]

Well, I went to practice last night. I never get nervous on stage but last night there must have been a million butterflies in my stomach before I got there. She actually smiled at me and said hi. She was friendly all evening and I took everyone's advice and was myself. I didn't act down or depressed. I didn't overdo anything, I was just myself. Becasue it was a practice, we didn't actually talk, just small chatting. There were a couple times as we were playing she would look at me and smile. I could tell she was a bit nervous. The only painful time in the evening (and I didn't show it) was when I first got there everyone was hugging me except for her. When it was time to leave she hugged most of the guys in the band (as we all normally do) but avoided me. I felt it deep but I didn't show it. I was determined to make it a good evening for her as well as me. She came back in after she left and walked up to me and I thought she was going to hug me but then she turned and got something from the table and went back out again. I felt like my stomach hit the floor but somehow I kept it inside. Since we're a Christian band we always pray when we're done and she did hold my hand as we stood in a circle but it was only because it just worked out that way. She left first and the other guys asked me how I was doing. I said I was doing OK. Later last night lying in bed I wasn't. I cried for a bit and then was blessed with some sleep even though it was only about an hour. I woke up again and laid there replaying the entire evening over and over. I need to somehow break that cycle... I haven't seen her yet with her new boyfriend and I guess that is what I am dreading.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello samross,

 

Well buddy, at least you had the guts to show up and didn't fall apart.

 

Maybe she thinks it would be a little awkward, or it is too soon to have a "normal" band relationship. (Uh, whatever that is.)

 

I have a problem with ruminating also.

 

You know what I do, I sit here rereading some of my better postings and it really works. (And gives me a good feeling to replace the bad ones. Try it.

 

Good luck with your group

[samross]

Thanks. I'm just going to give it time. If I can continue to feel like I did at practice then maybe there's hope. At least for me.

[rosie76]

Hi -

 

Sorry you're still hurting, but you shold be really REALLY pleased by how the evening went. You went, you saw her, and you didn't fall apart. You're doing so well. Seeing her with someone else is another step which will hurt, but you can look back on last night as a win and take the confidence forward to the next thing. And eventually it really will stop hurting at all.

 

Well done, hang in there.

 

-rosie

[SuperDave71]

I commend you....the sadness will soon end. I promise you. I know it's hard but you can get thru this.

 

You keep remembering everyone's advice and think of Sponge Bob sitting on your shoulder if ya feel down.

 

 

It might even make ya laugh out loud when ya do! HA HA

 

 

 

 

Your friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

[samross]

It did and it does! THANK YOU!!

[drum4god]

It did and it does! THANK YOU!!

 

I'm proud of you dude. You faced your fears and came out on top. I have a party that I wasn't going to attend, because my ex will be there. You just inspired me to say, screw her. I am going and I'm going to have a great time.

 

Thanks dude!

[samross]

Hang tough, brother! Tell yourself before you go into the party you might see or hear something you wished you hadn't so you'll be somewhat prepared but if things go well then terrific! I talked with my friend a few minutes ago and he told me it looked to him like my ex had a good time last night at practice so I feel pretty good. Good luck to you and let me know how it turns out!!