How much has a relationship changed your life?

[iwishiknew]

Just curious for those people who are in relationships, how much has it changed your life? Are you a new person than you were before the relationship? Do you have more happiness, energy and excitment than you were before? Overall would you say your a better person than before? Was it easy to get into a relationship?

[spikespiegel]

My last relationship changed my life quite a bit. I was kind of floating for a while, didn't know what I wanted to do with school and life in general, and then she came along. Just being with her made me want to become a better person FOR her, to get done with school finally so we could start our lives together and be happy. She also tried to help me eliminate my bad habits, like procrastination and communication.

 

Sadly it ended just over a month ago So although now that I'm just about done with school finally, looks like the "starting our lives together" part wasn't meant to be...

[Batya33]

In these ways relationships have changed my life:

 

I have been exposed to many new experiences - travelling - whether to europe, disney world, hiking on a famous mountain or exploring a not so famous footbridfe, the opera, baseball games, gambling, book groups, alternative theater, the symphony, interesting art galleries and craft fairs, rollercoasters, improv (that is, me performing with no notice in front of 100 people!), trying snails, etc.

 

I have had the opportunity to see my flaws right in front of my nose which happens when you interact with someone you are close to.

 

I happen to love being part of a couple - in no particular order, it's easier in some ways to make plans with others, it's cozy and comfortable to do your own thing sitting a few feet away from each other - just knowing the other is there - I think spooning is one of the best things in this world, it feels healthy and "free" to be sexually active where you know you are serious and committed to one another, it's a great feeling to know you can call each other about small crises, larger ones, silly things, hilarious things or for no reason at all and it's ok. It feels nice to feel "at home" with the person. And since I am not a large eater it is great to be able to try new dishes because you can always share or share it the next day.

 

It's made me a better person to be involved in serious long term relationships because at times it has given me that little push I needed to do something for myself, inspired me to change for the better, forced me to be other-centered even when I felt like being selfish and when I wanted to be there for the other person it was a good feeling knowing how high on the friend hierarchy I ranked with that person and how important my words and silent support were.

 

And, in times of real tragedy (i.e. 9/11) I had to be the most giving - because I wanted to give and had no idea how to help in those first few hours - i..e help him not to panic about a missing sibling (she ended up ok, thank goodness). That meant that I had to learn on my feet and learn I did. That made me a better person, too.

[Dako]

My first big relationship took me from innocence to love to the most miserable betrayal I can imagine. Afterwards, I despised all women for years. Kind of a change.

 

My next was one-sided, a sort of repressed longing for a wonderful unattainable friend. It left me with my heart on my sleeve and a belief that love is powerful.

 

My next took me from pure love through 27 years to a sudden rejection, making life too agonizing to endure, but a few people kept me from going out. It left me emotionally numb and drained of any self-confidence, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

I'm currently enthralled by a special lady. The change is a sort of magic delerium that opened my eyes to lost ideals.

[Blue Skittles]

I haven't been in a serious relationship in a couple years. Seems I can't get past the 3rd date. Anyways, It changes who u are sometimes but its important to be yourself and don't let people try to change you.

[Batya33]

I think a healthy relationship can inspire you to change. I think it is unhealthy to let someone else try to change you or to change for another person.

[caro33]

Just curious for those people who are in relationships, how much has it changed your life? Are you a new person than you were before the relationship? Do you have more happiness, energy and excitment than you were before? Overall would you say your a better person than before? Was it easy to get into a relationship?

 

I am much the same as before in terms of who I am, but now have to try and be a better person and not give in to my own selfish needs so much. I mean, sometimes I want to be grumpy and to wallow in self-pity, but I look at my partner and his great love and trust in me, and I want to be better. I want to be worthy of him.

 

I do not have more happiness, energy and excitment than before. For me, relationships cause apathy - I get too comfortable on the couch. Being sad and alone had me at two sizes smaller, fitter and happier with myself physically. Emotionally, I am sad to say I am just as I was before, but now I am also fat and inactive . So not feeling as good about myself, oddly enough.

 

In terms of lifestyle, the change is enormous. Someone to share my life with, versus the uncertainty of the future that comes from being alone and being afraid of always being alone. All the things Batya has already said, from the mundane through to the sublime.

 

I have also learned about the world of martial arts and wrestling in some detail, and made friends with people I knew nothing about before, but had assumed I had nothing in common with. It's an odd sub-culture.

 

Yes it was easy to get into a relationship in the sense that I did not have to chase him, and it happened naturally. No it was not easy in the sense of me letting down my barriers. I have been far more afraid of being left than I ever thought I would be. The relationship wounds of old were aggravated somewhat by forming a new engaged/married bond, just due to the degree of familiarity and vulnerability. But you have to bite the bullet and realise your life can't ever improve if you are too scared to take any risks.

[run_little_rabbit]

Of course relationships change you! It determines a big part of your lifestyle (daily habits, though processes).

I don't think my personality has changed much, if at all. I am happy, but I would be happy with my life right now with or without my boyfriend. So "happier?" yeah, I think so. But I wouldn't be miserable without a relationship either. As far as being a better person... I think relationships can prevent people from being too self-absorbed.

I think some people aren't as easily changed by others. Can't say it's never happened to me, but I learned the hard way that you're better off only changing for yourself, under your terms.

 

 

 

[edit] ditto what caro said!

[Landonn]

Oh for sure big time.

Before I entered this relationship I was just an innocent, well not quite, but fairly innocent 16 year old lol. Partied, went crazy every weekend, and didnt leave the guys' sides.

Through the partying I met the girl I am dating now, and it was great, she did the same things i did, partied with the same people, but for some reason we had never met before.

But since then, I have become wayyy more happier, discovered things i'd never known about myself, lost my v card, and discovered real love... not just that phony stuff that i've had in my past relationships. I have dropped the crazy partying, and the guys aren't my main interest anymore, but It's all worth it, Cause I'm happier than I ever have been before.

This relationship has changed my life completely, not sure if id wanna go back.

[yeawutever]

It has changed you in the fact that you're developing more emotionally and start opening up more than before. With being in a before, you're also on your journey and will risk being hurt, lied, to , deceive, but you are prepare for it and in case it happens, your life is still the same, you can move on. That's also when you learn about what it means caring for someone and the word "commitment". For to answer your question if being in a relationship has changed something within me, yes, back when I was single, I would get icky on anything to do with intimacy and or when I would hear some people talk about it, now I know what it means and what it feels like. And last but not least, I learn what is to have 'fallen in love", a year ago I would just make fun of it and think of it as a make believe thing people say, but it does happen.

[treefrogkate]

When I was in my abusive marriage, it changed me into someone I was ashamed of. I was so unhappy that I withdrew into myself, avoiding talking about anything serious with my friends, becoming really angry and bitter, and even kind of obnoxious in social situations.

 

After I finally admitted that it was not going to get better and kicked him out of the house, I noticed a huge change in myself, and all of my friends commented on it. I was happier, easier to be around, and was basically the old Kate again.

 

Now I am dating the most wonderful man I have ever known. I couldn't have imagined someone more perfect for me, and I take every opportunity I can to let him know how special he is and how much I care about him. Being in this relationship has opened my eyes to the wonder of *really* communicating with the one you love. I am a much, much better person for having known and loved this man.