don't know if i should let it go

[Blue Skittles]

Well i've posted about this guy before. He lives a couple hours away. When I went home for Christmas break I was away for 2 weeks and we grew really distant. When I got back we had a really long talk. We brought up a lot of concerns. The basic factors in that conversation were 1) i was confused as to why he was still on the dating site. He admitted it was wrong he was on there, since then he quit going on. 2) I told him if he wanted to see other people he should let me know. He said he didn't want to. I said I didn't want to either. 3) He said we were taking things too seriously and that last time he came up we maybe went a little too far. 4) He said he still likes me.

 

BUt the SIGNS are all WRONG!!! I'm in a deep depression right now. Its normal for me to get this way, I go through it from time to time. I hate it. But this ISN"T how i should feel if i'm dating someone I really like. We are still distant. We don't talk everyday anymore. When we do talk, its sooooo dry. I try to make things itneresting, I really do. I even brought up this really interesting debate that was on TV the other day and he didn't even REPLY to what I was saying. This is driving me nuts. Hes not even trying anymore. Its like he just doesn't care. He told me he was just really tired and thats why he isn't talking as much.

 

And here I am, all I can do is listen to depressing songs. I feel miserable after talking to him. I want to talk to someone, but I can't bring this stuff up, except to my best guy friend who told me I should be in a relationship with someone far away because I need someone thats there all the time for me and pays attention to me.

 

I don't know if a break up is the answer. If we do break up, I can move on. Its necessary if this thing is going to end that it ends soon because my job is suffering and right now my job is SOOO important to me. If I knew for sure I would eventually move out and be with him than i wouldn't care so much about my job.

 

So my question is - SHOULD I break up with him??? If I do break up with him, how can I do it so that it makes me look like the better person. I know its really selfish of me to think that way, but I don't want him to think he got to me. Secondly, if I do stay with him - how can i make things better between us?

[annie24]

meh, I don't know.... sounds like you aren't all that into this guy and that he isn't all that into you. I guess if you want to keep dating him to pass the time, go for it. but if you have other, more pressing things to take care of, I wouldn't waste my time with him. you don't sound all that satisfied with him.

 

and it also sounds like kind of a mixed message. he says he doesn't want to date others, but says that you two are getting "too serious." I don't know what that's all about, but those two statements sound mutually exclusive to me.

 

What does your gut tell you to do?