Help... I always lose a girl's interest

[toofer]

I always lose a girl's interest. For example, I was going out to a bar this weekend to meet a girl and her friends. She was texting me every 30 minutes asking where I was and if I was coming. I got there, and was with her alot in the bar and I asked her to come by after the bar, she said yes. After the bar I was texting her and interest level seemed to drop like crazy. I got home later then expected and when I called her she didn't pick up. She called me the next day and said she fell asleep and lately she doesn't seem into me at all.

 

I do not have trouble getting intial interest from a girl. I exercise like crazy, play on a minor league sports team and a university student. Its just I always lose there it. I think I come on too desperate. Many times I get interest from a girl and I can't push things farther then being just friends and I end up barely talking to them again. For once I want to have a girl's interest level keep increasing instead of the other way around. Anyone have any advice?

[friscodj]

Hey toofer, welcome to ENA my friend. Good to have you here...

 

Well, I believe two somewhat inter-related things are going on here.

 

First, you say you have no trouble getting initial interest from a woman. How are you doing this? Because I'm not so sure the initial basis for meeting is that solid. Do you have things in common with these women? Your stated "desperation" might be coming about by some notion of neediness which is influencing your decision to pursue relationship with women with whom you have no connection with.

 

Along these lines, I sense you are placing friendship with a woman below having a relationship with her, i.e., being "just" friends. I bet if you focused on making connections with women without the notion of pursuing a relationship with them, you might be better off. Friendship is a solid basis for a relationship and some of my favorite and most intimate relationships were started this way. Plus, female friends can offer you advice on this matter and the nuances of such you can't get by posting here...and female friends have other female friends too...

 

Lastly, loosening your grip on your desire to have romantic relationships with women will definitely help your stated desperation issue. What is there to be desperate about, right? Just doing this will probably make you more attractive...

[redding500]

Ease up on your approach. "Curiosity never killed the cat, it only enticed it."

[Unhumble]

Hmmm, okay, I'm not going to say what's right and what's wrong, since I'm not God.

 

friscodj said something about what should motivate you and make you sound less desperate. He's right about it. The more you're keeping calm, the less you come through as a horny guy who wants only...

 

But let us know what you usually tell to the girls you often flirt with.

You said you texted a lot with this girl...

Do you reveal too much about yourself? Do you speak mainly about yourself?

Did you try focusing your interest on her and asking more things about her?

 

Another advice: don't "fall into the trap" so quickly. Sometimes women who seem so very attracted in the beginning just do it to see whether you're "fit" to play around with you. Don't give in.