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Hello all,


As we continue in our healing processes, the way we look at things changes. While we are heartbroken and on our paths to healing, there are usually many things that have altered meanings to us. For instance, songs, special locations, foods, holidays...will have totally different meanings while we are healing.


A good indicator of healing is realizing those things that you once couldn't do or listen to or eat or visit all no longer have special meaning.


Post some examples of things that once held special meaning to you after your break, but through the process of healing, no longer really mean anything. I'll start...


1. Ford Focuses - I used to spot them everywhere and look for burgandy ones everywhere I went. It was my ex's car but I no longer seem to notice them.


2. Bye, Bye, Bye by NSYNC - Yes, I am almost embarrased to mention this, but I used to listen to that song ALL the time and envision myself singing it to/about my ex. Now, appropriately enough, I tend to want to puke when I hear the song, because...well, because its NSYNC.


3. The 8th of the month - it was the day of the month I met my ex. It's just another day now (nearly).



Post um if you got um.




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I got a Metallica tattoo on my chest when I was with my ex - basically 4 M's forming a star.


My Ex joked that the M's stood for Michelle - her name, so it soon became my Michellica tattoo... so seeing it in the mirror every morning reminded me of that.


It's now just a Metallica tattoo again.


Plus hearing music we used to listen to together no longer makes me want to drown things.

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the postal service's song "such great heights" i can now listen to w/o getting all emotional.


going by certain places my ex and i frequented in brooklyn or manhattan don't bother me anymore.


i'm able to look at pics and her myspace profile with out feeling much but i still refuse to look at her profile anymore (i haven't in months).


the only thing that still triggers memories are seeing or hearing things about new orleans (that's where my ex is from). not so sure why this is. we left the day katrina hit. perhaps that has something to do with it.


but all in all, almost all the things that i could see, hear, smell, etc that reminded me of the ex don't effect me anymore.

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So far there's only been one thing that's surprised me.


I was sorting out some washing earlier today, and picked up a t-shirt and smelt it, unsure of whether it was clean or not. When I did it smelt really strongly of him - and I realised it was the one I was wearing when I made an impromptu visit to his at 2am and then had to wear it for the whole of the next day. I also remembered that right after we broke up I'd been sorting out some stuff and found it and it had smelt of him then, and I'd just stuff it into a drawer because it hurt too much. This time...it didn't bother me. I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel a rush of love for him. I thought of him...but I didn't feel bad. And that feels great!

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I hoped you washed that shirt, Parsley!!


I hear ya, DeeJay! "Such Great Heights" was a song I couldnt listen to either, but now can.


This is sort of off topic, but Orlander I think that you are an amazing guy, and that any girl would be lucky to have you.

Thanks so much, RedQueen!!! It means so much to me for you to say that. So sweet of you...especially considering the comment I made on actually admitting I listened to NSYNC. lol


and I just thought of another one..I no longer avoid Sweet Tomatoes, which was our favorite restaurant and I have made reservations to go to our favorite "fancy" restaurant for Valentine's Day.




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Lol, yes it's washed and in the tumble dryer as we speak! I'm doing everything to rid myself of sentimental things that will remind me of him, luckily for me while we were going out the most he bought me was a drink at the pub, so I don't have any gifts to get rid of. Does make me wonder whether or not he still has the things I got him? I was at his the week before he broke up with me and he still had the glow in the dark stars that I'd written messages to him on stuck next to his bed, and my letters were still around. Doesn't mean a thing though, my previous ex still has a picture of us at his summer ball in his room, and I know that means nothing, cause he's now gay!

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I have made reservations to go to our favorite "fancy" restaurant for Valentine's Day.



O you evil reminder!


I was married on Valentine's Day. This year it's going to be about someone and something else, and the 25-year groove from my wedding ring is almost gone after 14 months.

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O you evil reminder!


I was married on Valentine's Day. This year it's going to be about someone and something else, and the 25-year groove from my wedding ring is almost gone after 14 months.

Ah, Dako. Didn't mean to churn bad memories. Reclaim Valentine's Day for yourself and your new love??!!


Things ended for good pretty much on Valentine's Day last year for me too. I'm actually looking forward to Vday this year.


Yeah, Lady Bugg...Sweet Tomatoes is awesome. That's right, I said it...I'm a guy and under 60 and I like Sweet Tomatoes (a true oddity, I know).


How close to Orlando are you and when can you join me for lunch there??




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Okay I'll take a jab at this:


-When I think of my ex while sitting down drinking our favorite wine, I start to notice all of her flaws more and I think to myself... "well, its his problem now and I got the answers and I don't kiss and tell"


-I'm starting to flirt and have more fun w/ my dates w/o worrying that I'm cheating on my ex \\


-She'll pay when she sees me all toned and buffed up

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LMAO Orlander.....too funny. I never realized before..but I guess a lot of seniors DO go to Sweet Tomatoes....do they have an early bird special I don't know about?
LOL, I'm not sure about the early bird specials.


Spring Hill? Yeah, I know where that is. Let's have lunch there, Dako you are invited too.



Ok, I have another healing adlib...the thought of flirting no longer sickens me




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