Should I Answer Her Even Though I Was NC?

[af77]

Two months ago my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. We had a great relationship but after she went back to school she had a hard time dealing with our long distance relationship.

 

Eventually she realized she wanted out of our relationship and started making excuses as to why she wanted to break up with me. Gradually she started going out with many of her guy friends more and more and picked on me throughout our phone conversations. To quote her, she would always say "I feel like I'm just going to screw things up between us somehow".

 

So she ended up breaking up with me and after she did she acted very happy with me on the phone and acted like a completely different person. Instead of being mean and rude she was happy and positive. She still would get in touch and communicate with me and I gradually distanced myself to help myself heal after I found out she was after another guy only four weeks after she broke up with me. In other words she still wanted me in her life as a friend while she could pursue other opportunities.

 

A couple of days ago my mother had major life threatening surgery which everything went well and she is expected to make a complete recovery. Amazingly, my ex found out somehow and has called me and started to text me again telling me that she hopes everything is going okay, tell your mom I said hello etc. Fact of the matter is, she has never even met my mother!

 

I am right now doing NC with her and am very upset about how she treated me in our relationship. Should I let her know how my mother is doing or just forget about the messages, etc and not even respond? I feel the civil thing would be to answer her but then again I don't want her involved in my life and she doesn't need to know what is going on, that's why she's an ex!

 

Any advice would be much appreciated!

[redding500]

Forget about the messages. That's pretty snakey, in my opinion, to use your mother's operation as a springboard to contact you. Don't feel an ounce of guilt with this one, you are wise to maintain NC.

[Juha]

Ignore!!! Ignore!!! Ignore!!!

[A_Friend]

And don't even think of discussing this with your mom....your ex has no value for anybody's feeling even if a person has undergone a serious surgery..Think

[Juliana]

"I feel the civil thing would be to answer her but then again I don't want her involved in my life and she doesn't need to know what is going on, that's why she's an ex!"

 

I think you're right. Thank her for her concern, and then go on with no contact. Breaking no contact like this doesn't exactly open the floodgates, but it does keep you consistent with what you think is the right thing to do.

[KoopaTroopa]

LAME!! If she and your mom had been really close or something, that would be completely different, and hell, it would even be different if the concern she expressed was for you. But given what she said ("tell your mom hi" when she doesn't even know her), it sounds like she's using your mother's surgery as an excuse to contact you, which is...well...lame, and just kind of low. IMHO either ignore it outright or take Juliana's suggestion - send a brief but polite response thanking her for her concern, and then ignore her.