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travel style differs from bf's

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Hey everyone, I’m visiting Manhattan and Boston with my boyfriend this April. It’s our first vacation on our own and I’m really happy about it but my boyfriend is taking it way too seriously at the minute. He’s already playing Mr. Tour Guide, reading up on the history of everything in both cities, and planning an activity for every minute of our week and a half long trip. He’s always more than prepared for things like this so it’s nothing new, but how do I get him to relax and not make our vacation all planned out? I’ve already forbidden him from bringing his computer because I know if he did, he’d be more interested in making more plans than in our time together! But then he said that we needed it to get directions and buy tickets to shows and we kind of got into an argument about it. Has anyone else traveled with a person who just can’t relax?

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No, I have not, but sometimes she can be that way. Perhaps you should try to do two things:


1. Plan somethings without him, ask, people here really know Boston and New York. I know NYC at least as much as or better than most other residents; and

2. Insist that some time blocks are left open, to do nothing, to roam, etc.

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Split the time. Tell him that you like to just relax, and take it easy, and do things as you do them. Its vacation, you dont want the stress of deadlines, schedules, running here, there, catching this bus at this time, this show at that time etc.


So he can plan... 3 days, and you can vegetate for 3 days. fair enough.

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My husband is exactly like this. When we travel he likes to use every minute to plan something, sightsee, etc. He does not like to sit still. I, on the other hand, like to sleep in, take my sweet time, relax, order room service. lol


When I relax, he gets bored, when he rushes around I get exhausted and don't enjoy myself.


Over the years we have learned to compromise: I'll get up at 5:00am and rush out the door with him if he promises to let me sleep in the next day. We take turns. It's the only way to make it work out.



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I am somewhat of a hybrid between the two of you. I like time within which things are not planned. I tend to believe that fun happens when there is time for whatever to happen. However, sometimes you need to plan, or you won't get to do things.


With a trip to NYC, if you want to see a particular show, then you probably do need to plan that and book the tickets. You are not going to walk up to box office windows and buy tickets on the afternoon of many shows, and if you want good seats, no way will you be able to do it. However, if you are willing to accept whatever fortune brings you, you can stand in line at the TCKTS window and see what is available (see: link removed). Same with restaurants, or an opera or any number of things. If you are dying to have a steak at Lugers, then you had better get a reservation well ahead of that night. (personally, I would take the steak from Luger's, pass on Broadway and go to see something off-off Broadway).


At the same time, I think you can squeeze in a trip to one of the museums when the mood strikes you. (Warning, it is taxing to really look at paintings and things in some of them, so don't try to do it for more than a couple hours. And if you do it for more, it's a blur.) If you want to go shop, then you can shop whenever and wherever you want, from looking for knockoff designer stuff in Chinatown, sorting through the racks at Syms for discounted stuff, or just going to the stores, such as those on Fifth Ave.


I'd also consider you planning some things, knowing what he ahs planned, taking that block of time, and not letting him know. If he likes steak, see if you can get in Lugers, or if not Keens. The afterward take him to where you want to go for the night, for drinks at a swanky bar or whatever.

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How about a compromise for how you spend your time? You and your BF could agree to spend say half of the time visiting all the popular places and the other half just walking around each city, hanging out with each other without a schedule. I’m one of those people who like to bring a laptop with me at least for plane rides, but I can see why you wouldn’t want your BF to be distracted with it. Maybe you should let him use it on his own time like when you’re flying there, but tell him it’s off-limits when you’re in the actual cities. If he really needs information, they have services like 4info that send you text messages with restaurant and store listings on your phone, and once you receive the information, he can turn his phone off. And keep reminding him that it’s more important to you that you have a good time together and all the planning and stuff can get in the way of that. Have fun!

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