Was I right?

[Ladydragonflagg]

Hello everyone, I have a situation that I am in that I really need an outside opinion on. So if anyone can help...

 

I have a friend who I have known for many years. We dated a long long time ago when we were kids. He is one of my best friends in the world, but I have always had feelings for him, as long as I can remember. I am happily married now, I have a child and everything is great here. So let me get to what happened.

 

This friend that i have, called me about 8 months ago and told me that he had gotten one of his friends pregnant, and though they werent together, and did not plan to be together, they were keeping the baby, which is great. So, since I have had this pining for him for so many years, I was a little ticked off by the whole situation. But because I am a good friend I stuck with him through the whole thing and even became friends with the girl. I have struggled with jealousy and all kinds of feelings through her whole pregnancy.I have put on a brave face and supported them both, even when the called me in the middle of the night when they needed help with the anxiety of becoming parents. But, being friends with these two people does nothing for me but hurt me.

 

So I decided that it is not healthy for me to be friends with these people. So after she had the baby, I pretty much am avoiding them, I dont answer their emails and I dont answer their phone calls. I cant hold up a false smile with them anymore, and I dont know what I would say to them anyway. So is it right what I am doing? It is good for me, but is it worth hurting others to save my own sanity?

[MissTee]

As far as I can see they are two grown adults who should be able to cope with this situation on their own. Your are neither their mother nor counsellor.

 

If the situation is hurting you, then yes, I think the best thing is to get out. You don't owe them anything.

[finewhine]

Maybe the baby is letting you move past your feelings for him. If that means cutting him out of your life, so be it. IMO, it can only be healthy.

 

FYI, it's among my biggest fears in life that I marry someone who is still hung up on an ex. Yikes!

[chantal]

well , u have been friends with him for along time , dont just through that away!! friendship is so strong.. do u have more feeling for him then you do the man you married? if so you should tell this friend how you feel and if he dosn't feel the same then i would start avoiding him.. if the two of them are not together then go for it.. why live you life unhappy when you could be happy?

life is all about taking chances.

But never aviod a person without giving then a reason because that seriously confuses and hurts people.. one day you may need someone and then they are gane without a trace

 

 

chantal xoxox good luck

[Ladydragonflagg]

Thanks for all the advice! I dont love him as much as I do my husband, he was my "first" love and that is always hard to let go. I agree that the baby has started to let me get over him and the reason why I decided to let them go is because I am afraid that if I stay around I will never get over the feelings fully. I feel like I am off to a good start, and i dont want to go backwards.