Why I probably won't live very long

[CynicalGuitarist]

Here are a few reasons why I likely won't live very long:

 

-They say "lonely men die earlier"... well since I'm the epitome of lonliness when it comes to inter-gender relationships, it won't be long now.

-I have a terrible diet. As a kid, my mom force-fed my brother and I vegan/health food. Thus, now I have a terrible diet as a reactionary... and out of apathy; because health food and eating "right" makes no difference me feel no better... in fact, it makes me more mentally awake... realizing that I'm a terrible person and do more bad than good.

-I'm worse at what I do best. I just realized I'm a terrible guitarist... and since that's the only thing I am and ever was most skilled at, there's no way I'll ever earn enough income to satisfy my needs... much less a woman's needs. Not to mention I seem to have permanent writers block.

-Nobody even helps with my depression or mood problems. I've seen psychiatrists, therapists, and whatnot, and none of them have done any good for me. Not to mention the only medication (marijuana) that's really done any good for me is out of the question now... I may lose my mind and stick the knife sideway in my neck at any time.

-I'm really, really unattractive and have terrible skin. Thus, I am one of the least-appealing men on this planet, thus leading up to most of my problems in the spiritual and mental realm. Because of this, I've tried hard with exercising, and toning my muscles... but I still look like a puny little boy. I hate me.

 

I seriously hope there is some sort of afterlife... because that's the only thing I'm really living for. I could only live to live again... otherwise death is the only reality and life is just a joke.

[gotSPL]

Did you graduate at Florin High?

[CynicalGuitarist]

do you have good ESP or what? no I didn't graduate. I went one year, tried alternative schooling, and ended up passing my GED with "flying colors" (I don't think so, but that's what my mom told me.

[crazy300]

do you have good ESP or what? no I didn't graduate. I went one year, tried alternative schooling, and ended up passing my GED with "flying colors" (I don't think so, but that's what my mom told me.)

 

Ok i dont quite understand your problem....u dont seem to like yourself very much is what Ive gathered.

 

healthy eating is great, it makes you feel more positive, especially with lots of water, and exercise..it'll keep you more energized.

 

As far as your height or appearance, its all a amatter of confidence and self esteem that you would need to work on.

 

And the guitar? who said you werent good? Maybe you need more practice or encouragement or guidance?

[Goldfish6888]

Hi CynicalGuitarist

 

There are some good books by Louise Hay. Check her out on Amazon. The power to cure cancer, feel more optimistic, see life as a gift and an opportunity to experience lots of things is WITHIN YOU!

 

Just as easy as it is for you to think negative thoughts, it is equally as easy to think positively. Everytime you hear a negative thought coming into your head, force yourself to respond with a positive....just try this for 24 hours."I may not be a good guitarist YET", but I'm going to learn how to play that riff by practicing every day.

 

See things positively......."I am lonely" can be answered by saying "I am comfortable spending time by myself".

 

" I have bad skin" answered by "I'm doing something about it".

 

"I hate me" by "I accept me and I deserve all the choices in life"

 

As regards your skin - I think there are lots of good medications now for acne. Acne is quite depressing and does get you down. I had it and hated it! But be proactive - find out what you can do to cure it. I took the natural remedies and now I have perfect skin! Origins is quite good but expensive. Take steps to try and cure it.

 

Life is gift that has been given to you - seize and take it.

 

You are only 19! The world is your oyster - you can tour with a rock band, go travelling, work in Africa, write a book, go to college. So many choices and so much time to try it all out! No mortgage, no kids, no considerations. The only one you have to consider is YOU!

 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

A good diet is just about respect for your body! So eat well.

Keep up the exercising as it helps mood swings and depression.

You may be puny - but believe me some women find that very attractive!!

 

If you live near the ocean, try taking up surfing - the salt water is great for clearing the skin and you get a great buzz on the board, as well as meeting lots of cool people.

 

See 07 as your chance to change things.

See it as a clean piece of paper.

 

Today is the start of a new chapter.

Cynical Guitarist try and be "optimist G string" instead. ;-)

 

 

 

Grab life now, as I swear it goes by so quick. They say youth is wasted on the young....so take it from someone who has been there...please don't waste it!!

[darkblue]

You have pointed out problems that you control.

 

You also summoned the courage and enthusiasm to post it here - so what I don't get is why you haven't even tried to changed those things first.

 

You can meet people/women. You can change your diet.

 

Why don't you start?

[Biffy]

Wow, you even inspired me and I'm full to the brim with self-confidence already!

[Bethany]

You have pointed out problems that you control.

 

You also summoned the courage and enthusiasm to post it here - so what I don't get is why you haven't even tried to changed those things first.

 

You can meet people/women. You can change your diet.

 

Why don't you start?

 

I second this.

 

Why don't you start?

[Goldfish6888]

Thanks Zombiain!! You look a bit like that famous guitarist, who always has a cig in his mouth. Can't think of his name though.

 

Cynicalguitarist - I hope this is your YEAR!! The more you believe it...the more it will be.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hey guy,

 

Have you ever heard of St. John's wort? (Uh, like a bladder wort plant, not the wart on your third grade teacher's nose.) It is an herbal supplement that has worked to a degree for me. (I would guesstimate that it takes about 50% of the "blues" away. (Almost as good as the other "herbal" uh, supplement you mentioned.)

 

As far as that, (weed) have you seen that stuff they have for the urine test? It costs about $30, but it really works.

 

Another idea... (and please don't gak) but have you ever considered joining the military? Now, I wouldn't go into the Army for anything, but there is the Navy, and also the Coast Guard.

 

I myself enlisted in the Air Force in '80' during the Iranian hostage crisis, and I had probably the best time of my life, no kidding.

 

The food is great! (No slop on a tray like Gomer Pyle. Real food on plates.) No "KP" either. Oh, I did it once in boot camp, after that, it was omeletes and bacon cheese burgers to eat. They finally figured that out in the 60s, Stop wasting time and efficiancy having troops pull KP.

 

Also, you will be too busy to be depressed. Boot camp is mostly just a matter of being another John Doe, and slipping by before they get wise to you. It is not like the boot camp where they put troubled youth. You might have a guy scream at you on the first day, (for a minute or two, try not to laugh.) after that, you are too busy filling out paper work and such.

 

You can maybe try out for the "band" (usually jazz). I almost made it, and I don't think I was as good as you!

 

My job was "Flight simulator Technician", (fix the flight simulator.)

 

The military might solve a lot of problems for you. If you want to know more, I'll be happy to tell you of my experiences, and give you some pointers to help you sail through boot camp. (30 days of boot camp.)

 

Also, if it don't work out. They will just tear up your enlistment and send you back home, as though it never happened, irregardless of what they might say, or threaten you with. (I have seen it done.)

 

They know that the military is not everyone's cup of tea, and they really don't want someone who doesn't want to be there.

 

So don't worry, you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

Well, I hope my suggestions are a help in that they give you some new ideas.

 

Also, I wish I had as much skill as you on guitar when I was 19. (Even today, eek.)

 

Also, I think Zombiain looks like Slash, from "Guns and Roses"

 

 

 

The way to true happiness is in making others happy.

[Tag]

You may be puny - but believe me some women find that very attractive!!

This is true.

Two of my boyfriends were shorter than me and quite lithe. ...and I still thought they were the sexiest things ever when I was with them. Small is sexy to me.

[Considerate Empath]

I hear you man, I'm pretty much the same exept for the diet part. I'm more comfortable alone though, and I think TOO much which is a real pain in the * * * most of the time but useful sometimes when I'm depressed though.

 

Simple advice: Do you like movies/series/cartoons/anime or whatever? If you do - watch something filled with jokes or cliché's or anything that teaches you something. If it's jokes - at least you'll laugh, and as laughter is the 'language of the soul' you'll be able to keep up for at least another week. If it's cliché's in a love story or something - maybe you'll learn a few tricks in how to get some self-esteem and stuff. If not, then it might be fun just to watch other people live out their life and stop thinking about anything but them for a while to relax - I know I do.

 

I prefer anime though. As I said, I think too much and if an actor screws up too much, it'll be in my head all day. In anime, the characters ain't real but at least it's closer to calling that real life no matter how unreal it is, than with real characters. I may be weird but that's what I think

 

 

//C.E.

[CynicalGuitarist]

I, in fact, like anime quite a bit; you were right in saying it's more 'real'... I think it's more due to the fact that it's more real through symbolism, self-depriciation, and dry wit. I especially like to watch silly stuff like early "PokeMon" episodes and even "Excel Saga". I have a heavy interest in media (Movies and even TV) as an art, but I don't consider myself a TV or film "junkie". Ironicly enough, I enjoy watching dating shows because of how "set up" they are. Whatever anyone says about 'em, I LOVE watching talk shows whenever one is on... call me cruel, but there's nothing like the LCD and right-brain slackers for a cheap laugh.

 

Anways, I'd like to thank you for rekindling my interest.