sonjam Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Doyathink, that was very well said, and err... well observed!! Yasmina, I admire your courage and strenth, you are strong, I wish more people could be like you. This is going to be a HUGE loss for this guy, and he's only going to realise it, now that he lost you. Link to comment
radioheader Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 stay stong and continue to pursue your happiness...you did'nt deserve all of this crap...i admire you and how you are handling everything...you will find someone who is right for you! Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 yeah, most cheaters beg and plead with their main woman when they get caught, and put on a good show... they are essentially selfish people, who want what they want, and are usually totally shocked when it blows up in their face... not really sorry, just sorry they got caught and can't have their cake and eat it too anymore... so be strong, and indeed, be very glad you found out before it was complicated by marriage and kids... best of luck, you deserve someone who loves you TRULY, not falsely! Link to comment
yasmina Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 Thankyou guys. Thankyou so much all your words bring me up every moment i begin to doubt myself. Today was D-day and I saw him. He came bawling his eyes out saying that he didnt know what was out there and now he knows i am perfect for him etc etc...he cried and cried and confessed and cried. I must admit it was hard for me to hear this and not run back into his arms. I suprisingly found myself not unable to cry, but not wanting/needing too...for these last 2 weeks I spent purely alone I found myself and being confronted with him I found that for me, its over. It will be truly hard due to years of attachment and so on, but I have done the hard yards... There will be many times when I am tempted to go back to him. But I just dont feel it like I used too...its a shame he does now... Well guys wish me luck because getting through this next part is going to be a long trek, but I will get to the top of Everest, everyone on their journey will make it to the top while those that betrayed us and still at the bottom. Link to comment
sonjam Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Good for you! Well done, stay strong, the worst is over. You might wonder if you did the right thing, and you might get lonely, but if you know in your heart, that this relationship was not right for you anymore, then you did the right thing for YOU. And that is who you should be thinking of first now. Link to comment
candy604 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 you made the right choice yasmina. Keep strong and stay strong! You deserve someone that will treat you right. Good luck. Don't look back but be thankful you found this out before getting yourself into a rut. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 someone who is lying to multiple woman is not only a good liar, but a good actor, becuase they must live two lives and bluff their way through lots of situations pretending as if they were doing/behaving differently than they are, and to smoothly tell a all kinds of lies... so i am glad to hear you were dry eyed through his pleadings, because a lot of that drama could be manufactured to manipulate your feelings... just like he has manipulated you (unbeknownst to you) in the past to allow him to live a secret life with someone else... i had the same kind of reaction you did to infidelity... i remain dry eyed through all his excuses and begging etc., but deep down i realized he was just a giant baby who was having a fit becasue mommy said no, i will not put up with you and your nonsense... i knew there was no going back to the way it was, becuase i didn't really know the way things truly were becuase he was lying and living two lives... and i could never trust him again, when was he being 'real', and when was he deceiving me, and with whom? i'm sure you will shed plenty of tears later on your own while you deal with your loss and getting over him, but that just means you were a decent person who knows how to love and did get attached to him, whereas he only turns on the tears because he is trying to get something from you, and will still be the same person who cheats and only appreciates you if it looks like he's losing you. Link to comment
Rabican Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Good for you with sticking to your guns. I agree to another poster, if he can lie about cheating with her, if he can live the 'double life' so to speak... then hes most likely to lay on the BS and say whatever he wants to get you back. Link to comment
caro33 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yasmina you sound like such a strong and switched on woman. Well done, and I wish you all the luck and power in the world. Link to comment
blindfold Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 hold your head up high, give him his things, tell him you know and slam the bloody door on his face. he'll be back begging for forgiveness and all sorts of things... but hang in there Link to comment
kb109 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 When is he returning from overseas? Please tell us his reaction when he sees all of his things packed! LOL Link to comment
yasmina Posted January 13, 2007 Author Share Posted January 13, 2007 Well he is back...he saw his things packed..i thought he would fall on the floor...he refused to take any of it...his excuse was if he cant have me he doesnt want anything in his life...and he told me to throw it out...so thats fine im going to give it to people who need it..i will just donate it all... i do cry my own tears privately...i feel the pain of seperation and betrayal...i would nvever give him the pleasure of seeing this though...ive also learnt that i cant hate him..because hate means i am still wasting a hell of alot of time thinking about him...he WAS this is my life NOW...concentrate on that... You are so right BeStrongBeHappy, when I think back to all the times he got out of a situation when i just knew he was doing something I just cringe. There is no point in beating yourself up over it because you do what you can at the time, as long as you see the light thats all that matters. He is still going on about how I am the one and he now realised that, the words of a desperate man. I truly believe he did see there was not much out there for him and what he had at home was perfect. Too little too late. I must say it is hard resisting the barrage of compliments, love, etc. But I will - its all a matter of time before he gets sick of it and his true self emerges. Link to comment
redsuede Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 That must have been a very hard. We are all here for ya. You have amazing strength, and truly are doing the right thing. Take this time to heal through this now. Those comments do make it very hard. Time will show you everything you need to know. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 you are right to stay strong because although he may realize you are the best thing that ever happened to him, he is NOT the best thing to ever happen to you... and as soon as he gets back secure with you, he would still be the same person, who is capable of living a double life, lying, and cheating to indulge his latest whim. Just not worthy of you... Link to comment
candy604 Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 you are right to stay strong because although he may realize you are the best thing that ever happened to him, he is NOT the best thing to ever happen to you... and as soon as he gets back secure with you, he would still be the same person, who is capable of living a double life, lying, and cheating to indulge his latest whim. Just not worthy of you... Agree totally with that. Link to comment
yasmina Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 I also totally agree with that...right now he is doing EVERYTHING humanly possible in his power to get me back..and im sure he would sustain that for a few months...but once the routine sets back in...he will still inevitably be the same lying cheating man...if he can lie to my face once he can do it again, its just this time i know the warning signs...and i am not willing to stick around and find out again... I hit rock bottom, and i have slowly climbed out of the hole....im reclaiming my power and my spirit that I let him chew away at. There are still ups and downs and its a hell of a bumpy road...its all but a lesson in life.. remember...what has been given can be taken away. he no longer has my permission to make me feel sad. Link to comment
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