In Love...

[unknownLover]

So what do you think about true love? I've been in love with the same man for almost 7 years now. We were together when I was in high school for about 5 months and it ended when he fell into a depression. I didn't even remain close friends with him, only seeing him every few months or so. I've had 2 very serious relationships since then, and dated around quite a bit. But no one has ever been able to compare to how I feel about him. No matter how hard I tried to put him out of my mind, he was always there. We got back together about 6 months ago- the relationship started with him telling me he loves me. I thought when people fell in love the rest would just fall into place too, but that's not the case. The relationship isn't what I want it to be. At the beginning it was amazing- completely different than any other relationship. But now, I feel so distanced from him. To sum it up, for the past month or so, I just haven't been happy in the relationship. I've tried to talk to him, but he tells me I'm paranoid, or making something out of nothing. But I can't change the way he makes me feel, which isn't happy. But how do you leave someone who you were so convinced was your one true love? The one man that you always wanted to spend forever with and haven't been able to get out of your mind for 7 years? You don't. You don't leave him. I can't see myself giving up on something that I've waited so long for, with the man that I still want to spend forever with. I just want to spend forever with him in a better relationship. Maybe things will get better again, as he starts to get less busy with work. I've always said that if someone's not sure if they're in love, then they're not. What do you think?

[yeawutever]

You might want to try couple couseling or maybe break up with him since your relationship seems to be going nowhere. Yes it is possible to be in love that long but you can also get bored and not feel the same way anyone. Then it's also possible that you confused love for infatuation., that you liked the idea that you think you were in love.

[laboheme]

It seems that you're not in love with him, but with the idea of him. It's hard to let go of those fantasies of the ideal relationships, of the "could-be's" and the "what if's," and start trying to imagine a new life with someone else (especially if there is nobody else yet). Do you really think it has to do with how busy he is with work? If so, do you really want to be constantly hoping for the day when he doesn't have to work as much? Life is likely to get busier rather than simpler later on -- so if you can't handle the amount of work now, it's only going to get worse later on. If you can't resolve the issue right now (possibly with couples counseling, as the above poster has said), you might have to call things off. After all, if the relationship isn't making you happy, what's the point?

[unknownLover]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I ended up having a more in-depth talk with him about the way I felt, and it seems that we've worked passed it. There's a lot to be said for honest communication in a relationship.