What is enough?

[Mrsympathy]

What does everyone think is enough in regards to trying to save their marriage,not trying just had enough,try to talk to your S.O.,go to councelling,take a seperation,what does everyone think about this?

[LittleLion24]

When you think you've done everything to save your marriage and nothing has changed then I would say you've done enough. Then you have to decide what's the next step you want to take.

[lmtl]

Everyone reaches the point where they finally say ENOUGH. For me it took quite a lot. In fact, I always said...when this happens, that will be it. Well, "this" happened, and I still hung in there, giving it all I could.

 

Fot me, it took him telling me in one of our romantic places that he was going to meet his new girlfriend's parents for Christmas. He added that he never sees us getting getting back together, and that we would never be lovers again.

 

I said "take care" and got out of his car. He didn't drive away right away, as if he was waiting for me to come back to his car...but I didn't. I drove away.

 

For me, the deal breaker was adding another woman to our 15+ year relationship. He sid she is a better person than I because she cares about animals......but he left his cat behind that I have been taking care of since he left one year ago. Yeah, I suck!

[RayKay]

I think you know you have reached that point of enough when you really have nothing left to put forth.

 

I tend to think of it as a point of not emotional exhaustion, but rather being totally emotionally spent after having put your all into working on it and it either not working, or them just not putting the effort in on the other side (or caring in the same regard).

 

It is hard to explain, because you know it when you get there. All I know is that I value highly commitment, and putting my efforts into a relationship, but that I also need to feel partnership in that and it can't be all me all the time. If you feel a partnership with someone in the relationship, you carry one another and support one another and are working to a common goal. It is far less tiring. When on the other hand that partnership is missing, you feel the burden all on you, and feel alone in the efforts....generally a sign that things will not work out because you can't make it work on your own.