What's wrong with me?

[BoddenProBowler06]

Every now and then I'll feel great and then the next day I'll feel like crap. Like the other day, I hung out with my girlfriend and felt great and sociable. Today I feel terrible. Just really tired, alone, and kind of like I don't want to talk to anyone. Even if my girlfriend calls on the phone it doesn't make me feel any better. Sometimes I'll have suicidal thoughts. Then the next day I might feel better again.

 

I don't know what's wrong but I'm tired of feeling like this. My parents don't make it much better either, especially my father. He constantly drills it into me that I spend too much time doing stuff like videogames, computer, hanging around with friends, and not enough time actually working. When in reality I go to college and do work, but he works all day and comes home and sees me on the computer thinking that's all I've been doing all day. He doesn't realize how crappy he makes me feel. Sometimes I just wish I could pack up and move away somewhere else and start over.

 

Don't know what's going on...I just need some help with this. I don't know how much longer this can go on.

[n83]

It sounds like you're depressed. Your college should have someone you can talk to (free counseling).. you should really look into it if you're having suicidal thoughts.

[BoddenProBowler06]

It sounds like you're depressed. Your college should have someone you can talk to (free counseling).. you should really look into it if you're having suicidal thoughts.

 

When I have those thoughts I know I would never go through with it. They just linger in my head because it seems like such an easy way out. It just scares me to think that my life could be gone in a second and not knowing what's after it.

[tinababe]

i dont have much to say becuz i am going through the same problem...i think u put perfectly into words how i feel but have never been able to express before...i mostly start feeling sad and upset when i am by myself or feel like people would rather hang out with someone else than with me....just normal insecurities for me...just no that you are not alone...

[jakeywakey]

im glad this thread was made (not that im happy about what yer going through). i feel the same way alot, and im in about the same situation (minus the gf i have these days too, it was deffinitely one today, where i couldnt find anything to do, but at the same time didnt feel like talking to anyone anyway, i didnt even wanna pick up the phone and call someone, but i was upset about how bored/tired/alone i felt. part of it for me i think is that this break between semesters is too damn long (never thought id say that) i guess i could use some college buddies getting back in town to brighten things up, but aside from this, i do know what you mean.

 

sometimes ill be sitting on the computer and it turns into hours because ive just let things go, also got in a fight with my dad today which didnt help. are you thinking about your future alot? worried/scared about it, i have alot of thoughts like this as well.

 

something i would recommend is walking if you dont already. if yer feeling down in the dumps and dont feel really sociable, go for a walk...its even better if you have an mp3 player of some sort, it can really clear your mind out...also going for a drive does the same.

 

hope something here helped, good luck

[soulse]

I hope this thread stays around, because I feel the exact same way. When I'm back in my home town my parents always judge me so I rarely go home. For some reason I start to become really numb there. When I'm up at college it's a little better, but I still feel the same way you described. The best thing I can tell you is get out of your parents house and try and move some where closer to your college campus. Can you move into some sort of dorm or student housing?

 

My dad does the same thing to me (plus my mom pretty much ignores me) so I constantly needed to feel like I needed to hide anything non work related from my parents like they were the gate keepers to my prison. Moving into a dorm or somewhere away from your parents can help. It won't completely fix how you feel but it does help. Also what jakeywakey said about "taking a drive" also helps, just wonder around aimlessly.

[Iwantittoend]

I feel the exact same way as you Bodden. In fact, your situation sounds eerily similar. I don't get along with my parents, have no friends, and I find myself alone a lot. The only thing I have is my girlfriend. What I try to do is go for walks, take random drives somewhere, or just go to different places so I don't have to be at home all the time.

 

Hope you start feeling better.