middle man?

[orion]

My friend's bf just broke up with her and I would like to contact him to see if he is OK as well. I am better friends with her and only recently became friends with her now ex-bf; so I am wondering if this could cause conflicts or if it is a bad idea. Anything like this backfire for anyone?

[kr356]

depends on your friend, what she is like.. but generally it would cause conflict in my opinion

[laboheme]

If you are genuinely concerned about your friend's ex-boyfriend, I think it's okay to contact him just to check how he's doing. However, do not advertise the fact that you're in contact with both of them, because if they find out, they might ask you to act as the middleman, which is the last thing you want to do, believe me (been there, done that...yuck!).

 

Also, be careful not to talk about how the other person is dealing with the breakup (meaning, don't run back to your friend telling her that her ex is absolutely devastated over the breakup, or whatever the case may be -- facts can get distorted that way) and just focus on the person that you're talking to and his or her healing process.

[annie24]

hm, I wouldn't contact him. she may see it as you are "betraying her" or something. i'm sure the guy is ok, after all, the dumpers usually are more prepared than the dumpees. if you run into him on the street or something, you can ask him how he is doing. but i certainly wouldn't call him. plus, she may think you are trying to "hook up" with her ex now that you are out of the picture.