Should I keep going with it or forget about it?

[methuselah]

So... I met this girl 4 months ago randomly, and we went out on a couple of dates before I had to move for a job until the middle of December. We hit it off well and we kept in constant touch (email/phone) while I was away.

 

Since I've returned, we've had a couple dates, and it's gotten hot and heavy, and it's obvious we are very attracted to each other. She's very busy for the holidays and so am I but we found time for each other.

 

I talked to her last week and she said because of her experiences in the last year (divorce, break up) she didn't want anything "serious" but there was no one else romantic in her life. I told her that I could live with that.

 

So...another date after that, we just stay in and I sing/play guitar for her and give her a ridiculously good massage, great date...Then I go home.

 

She posted on her personal webspace that she is making a New Year resolution to "give up on boys", Havent heard any response to my email or call (she's normally good about responding).

 

Well, I would like to keep it non-serious but the problem is that I'm a born romantic and I do and say things naturally, so she may misinterpret. Should I just tell her we should just shelve it until she is ready for me to be in her life (at whatever capacity) or keep on pushing the dating scene? (or just say "let's be friends"...bleh)? Or just NC? What to do with a woman that gives great vibes when we're together but obviously not too sure about it when alone with her thoughts?](*,)

[friscodj]

Hey m-

 

Yeah that little tidbit of information about the giving up on guys could be problematic here huh?

 

The first thing I think you should do is talk to her about it. She may just be kidding and/or overreacting or maybe her definition of a "boy" is different from how she sees you. Or she very well may be going through a phase of wanting to be away from guys. Find out by talking about it.

 

If some time goes by, say a week or more and you still haven't heard from her, there's probably your answer right there. You said you could live with her not wanting anything more serious so keep both the quasi-relationship that way and your perception and attachment to the quasi-relationship you have together. I say maintain your level of involvement as long as your heart and sanity allow. If you find yourself getting more serious and/or losing your mind because of it, it is time for resolution. It sounds to me from reading your post that you want to be more than friends with this woman so go with that idea.

 

But that is a ways away yet. She hasn't called you back. Right now, I'd both start preparing for what you want to say to her if you do hear from her and start detaching from the situation should you not hear from her for your own sake.

[methuselah]

Thanks, friscodj. Good answer.

 

I've learned not to wait on people...but it will be interesting to see what happens!