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NC rule? what can be the best response?

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So I broke up 3 months ago. First month I kept contact with him as friends, but sometimes he kept asking me to get back to him. One day I said I'm not thinking about getting back; he got mad, sweared at me, and said he will not see or talk to me and I should not contact him. I got hurt by his words so I thought NC could be the best solution, so I decided not to contact him.


A week later he contacted me again, but I didn't want to pick up because I know the conversation would end up just like before. Then he started sending message with angry words and all. Then I called him and explained to him one more time; this time he accepted and wished me luck.


Then a week later, he called again, I tried not to pick up or reply anything. His messages began with sweet talk like he'll wait, sorry, etc. then it came to I'm a liar, selfish... etc. Recently, i noticed the number of his messages/call decreases, but last week, on the day I hung out with my roommates, one of them called him out and let him used her fone to call me, so I pick up without knowing that its him. Now he's back to the time when we first got into NC.


Should I call him and explain to him again? Or should I stick with the NC rule? I dont know why but everytime i read his message saying he will live well, try his best in everything, I feel happy and think of maybe giving him a call. But then the next day, his message are pretty mean; its just make me feel like its not a good time to call him. I used to think I will start calling him again maybe three months or half a year later when I know he's completely over me, then we can start to be friends again, but u think that is possible?


is it normal for him to change his mood/tone like that? I know he's an impatient man, get mad easily ... but .. i dont know wat to do to help him get over this anymore. I felt bad for ignoring him, but talking him is like ... a big pressure for me, like everything I say, he just don't accept it and keep twisting my words.

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He's clearly still hurting a lot and you need to leave him well alone. I know there's a part of you that will always care about him and want to know that he's ok but you're not helping him at all by allowing him to keep venting at you. I'm afraid to say that when there is such a massive void between the feelings of one ex-partner and the other, the "can we still be friends" thing just doesn't work as you have clearly found out, and probably never will.


I know it makes you feel bad that you can't help him, but part of breaking up with someone is about feeling bad. You've broken his heart, you are the bad guy to him. That doesn't mean you're the bad guy full stop but in his world you are and there's nothing you can do to change that without sending him horribly confusing mixed messages. I know you think you're just showing care, but as someone who has just been dumped, I can tell you that you'd be surprised what the deranged heart broken mind can read into a simple "hope you're ok" or "look after yourself".


He is angry and heart broken and the only thing you can do is leave him alone to sort himself out. Ignore his calls, ask your friends not to do stupid things like allow him to use their phones (because it is not helping him at all) and if he does manage to get hold of you through underhand tactics, calmly explain that he has friends and family he can turn to now, it is over and he needs to leave you alone because this is not getting either of you anywhere. It may seem harsh but it will be best for him in the end.


"i dont know wat to do to help him get over this anymore."


You can't be the one to help him get over this, because it is you he is trying to get over. Have the strength to cut the apron strings, he is not your responsability any more.

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