How to let this develop

[daredevil]

Hello people, it has been a while since my last post, but recently I ran into some thoughts, which I hope you can be helpful about.

 

Read first part and the last if u don't want a long story...

 

I broke up with my ex back in november, saw a new girl till the start of december, then went on single till now. I started talking to a new girl in the middle of december, and we took it from the dating site on to msn and furthermore on to mobilephone. Well we then talked a lot and agreed to meet for a romantic date on a restaurant followed by a trip to the cinema and then ending with me giving breakfast or making it. The reason behind such a direct first date, if you can call it this was that we during the conversations on msn had said "I'll take you on that one", regarding cinema trip (her giving) and breakfast (me giving)... this seemed as an awesome way to have a date in my eyes

 

Well things developed quite faster than expected....I went to the cinema with some friends the 3rd day after christmas eve (27dec), and then before we got there I had been texting a lot with her, and she couldn't wait to meet me and such.. so I just said I was considering staying in the city (I lived in the city where we went but spend the holidays at parents). Then she offered to come and visit me, she wanted to see me badly, but she was nervous, I then told her that would be the most insane thing to do, but at the same time I told her that sometimes you had to take chances (I never been a person who does things drastically, but this one I took)...We agreed to meet outside the cinema and then we met, and I have never been so nervous in my life for the last 2 years...

 

We went to my apartment and talked for 2 hours just sitting with Robbie Williams live koncert on tv with a low volume, and she had brought some alcohol with her to loosen up the situation... we got tired and went to bed.. kissing each other and holding close.. things developed and we just lay there and cuddled and talked.. well then we both got so turned on and I told her that I didn't want to rush things, and we smiled and well.. we ended up having the best sex ever in my life.. from midnight till 6 in the morning.. with few brakes, she was so surprised by how good i was in bed etc, but not important.. We had a terrific night and we both talked about what had happened but we both enjoyed it...

 

Well we then hooked up again 2 days before new year and had a great night I made food and we ended up having sex, but just after she got called about her friend being knocked down in the city...she went home and we've been writing since that...

 

My problems are:

 

I don't want this turning in to a friends with benefit thing, she is so good looking and her personality is awesome.. I want to keep it on the way to a relationship which she would like too, but at the same time not moving too quickly...

 

She isn't the type who likes to write a lot @ mobil, because as she says if u want something then u can just call.. she lives an hour away from me, and how do you speak to each other, when she works a lot and doesn't like sms and that?

 

I don't want to rush her into things or seem like i'm needy nor anything, but I want to surprise her in a good way and let things develop...

 

= want tips on how to act after such a terrific start without getting too needy or whatever looks like that.

[heloladies21]

The important thing to realize is what actions seem needy and which don't. Think about the texting thing. Someone who sends out a text can appear caring or needy or aggressive or boring. It all depends on the way you do it. If you spit out some great material that she responds well to, then she won't be able to get enough of you. But if what you say isn't quite what she's looking for, then she will lose interest no matter the timing or frequency of contacts.

 

The basically fundamtal is to let her know that you care about her. That is intinctually what every woman is looking for when it comes to a mate. Even if they are just looking for sex, they will dump that guy for a different one of he shows her he cares about her.

[daredevil]

The important thing to realize is what actions seem needy and which don't. Think about the texting thing. Someone who sends out a text can appear caring or needy or aggressive or boring. It all depends on the way you do it. If you spit out some great material that she responds well to, then she won't be able to get enough of you. But if what you say isn't quite what she's looking for, then she will lose interest no matter the timing or frequency of contacts.

 

The basically fundamtal is to let her know that you care about her. That is intinctually what every woman is looking for when it comes to a mate. Even if they are just looking for sex, they will dump that guy for a different one of he shows her he cares about her.

 

Thanks a lot for the advice She knows i'm a very caring person, I ask her how her day has been often and hold her a lot and talk as I really adore her, I'm a sensitive person who wants my partner to be happy and feel secure and comfortness around me, I know it's working, but as you wrote I see my sms as caring and understanding, perhaps 1-2 a day... but I still have some self confidence problems telling me it's just a fling

[heloladies21]

Yup, you're gonna wanna squash the insecurities asap as this can be a real deal breaker when it comes to girls. They want a man who is confident and she is gonna look to your actions to decide if you are. So the best you can do is fake it till you make it.

 

Also there is a problem with lots of guys who are too caring that they take it too far. They never get into fights because they want to avoid conflict, never show jealousy because they don't want to put any pressure. This is bad because the girl sees that you don't care because you would only get jealous or possessive over someone who you cared about. Would need to hear more about your views on relationships in general to properly diagnose what things would need more improvement in order for you to have successful relationships.

[daredevil]

Yup, you're gonna wanna squash the insecurities asap as this can be a real deal breaker when it comes to girls. They want a man who is confident and she is gonna look to your actions to decide if you are. So the best you can do is fake it till you make it.

 

Also there is a problem with lots of guys who are too caring that they take it too far. They never get into fights because they want to avoid conflict, never show jealousy because they don't want to put any pressure. This is bad because the girl sees that you don't care because you would only get jealous or possessive over someone who you cared about. Would need to hear more about your views on relationships in general to properly diagnose what things would need more improvement in order for you to have successful relationships.

 

I show jealousy when I think it's needed, if a situation shows I got a reason to be it, I don't fully blind trust people, because i've learn't from my experiences that you can never trust a person that much....regarding conflicts then i'm the type who tells the girl about my goals for instance about a date or what i'm feeling, without taking it to a too high level.. I don't avoid conflicts if I have something to tell her then I do it, but I think it's all due to insecurity on my site...I mean why i'm asking this in my thread..

 

All of it again sounded good, but.. I've had successful relationships, just got out of one in november after 10 months.

 

My view about relationships and some of the most important things:

 

- It takes two to be in a relationship, hence challenge is a must, so one part doesn't feel he or she is giving more than the other

- I want my partner to feel comfortness, taken care of and secure in it

- Relationships is based upon trust, if you can't trust your partner or have insecurities in that area then confront the person with them or take actions.

- As a person I tend to be romantic, spontaneous and make a person smile

 

From the profile we met on, about me (if helpful?):

 

"Vigorous and perky, an astounding ability to be playful, loves to do things, which makes people think about their existence (hence life) or just to make them smile to me. Sometimes people tell me that I have way too much fun or laugh too much, but I just can’t help the feeling to be playful. This mystic person spends each given opportunity to make people laugh or do something romantic or spontaneous for them. If I could turn back the hands of time? Then I would certainly be a child, because I just can't help the feeling inside me of having fun all the time. "

[daredevil]

/bump .....