CareBear53187 Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Listen guys. For an entire week, i wept. I cried. I bawled. I wandered around my house aimlessly, pathetically. Between bouts of being depressed and weepy, I would literally panic-this can't really be happening. In these bouts, come the temptation to break NC. He still loves me. He has to. i lost 15 pounds that I could not afford to lose, weighing in at 95 pounds. I made a COMPLETE fool of myself to the guy that broke my heart, lost all of my pride. Twelve days later....and I haven't shed a tear for four days. Do you want to know why? he's not worth it. They aren't worth it. And I know that this sounds so annoying from people telling you it all the time, but this is coming from someone who literaly would have done anything to get him back. I've been spending so much time in prayer and doing devotionals, spending time with me--and while of COURSE i am not completely healed, and of course i feel like a part of me is missing--i have come to the realization that you know, he really wasn't all that i had cracked him up to be. In fact, he really ISN'T going to get better than me, and i can honestly say that. And you know what else? them. If we had made them hurt this bad do you think we would be able to just walk away the way that they did? NO. Because we loved more. We loved and cared more than they did. And I'm "saving all my love for someone who's loving me." Seriously, folks. You don't deserve this. Lamentations 3 1 Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Carebear - You are soooooo right!!!!!!!!! I am bookmarking this post Love and Hugs! Eddie Link to comment
ebsmith1 Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Gosh as many times as I've heard that, I really needed it again tonight! I cried myself to sleep last night over this guy who obviously never really loved me. His proposal meant nothing and he isn't going to find someone who loved him the way that I did. It still sucks, but I'll be alright! Thanks for this! I think I might print it out! Link to comment
evening_light Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 CareBear, doesn't it suck when we put all our energy into them and they don't reciprocate.....but what can you do? Everything my friend... First of all, I'm sorry you lost all these pounds....( yes... be mad at HIM ) but you will heal, you seem like a strong person, but from what I'm reading, I see a good future for you...you're young and will recover fast... Don't dwell foreever, you will meet someone that will love YOU, for who you are..... Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I am going to read this every day until I forget her name. I lost those 15 pounds too... I also sat around for 4 of our 6 years together waiting for her to fix her issues while I worked on mine. Hurts to be thrown away so quickly because the grass looks greener ... but you are soooooo right. They are the broken toys... not us. Link to comment
psu11 Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 congrats on coming to terms with your break up and recgonizing your own self worth. i feel like you are moving on beautifully. remember, it does take time and take one day at a time. Link to comment
Lanterna Magica Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 You know what, you are right! I'm starting to get into my angry phase and see now that I have been the better person throughout this! When I first posted here I blamed myself for everything, now in retrospect, I see that I was merely just a part of a triangle! So yes, they do not deserve the Love we have to offer! Link to comment
Vynde Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Carebear, Your posting was very uplifting and Ill have to agree with everything you said. Although I will say, easier said than done. Im finding that changing the mind-set is the hardest part. John Link to comment
Ladyface Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Great post, Carebear I'm still devastated over a breakup that happened less than two weeks ago, and I still cry regularly, but I'm starting to realize that I'm making positive changes in my life. My ex drank and smoked weed a lot, and I joined him most of the time because it didn't matter what I was doing with my time - as long as I was with him, I was happy. I'm exercising more now. I'm eating healthier instead of hanging around with a boyfriend who lives off fast food and pizza. I'm spending quality time with MY friends, rather than his friends. I'm nowhere near healed, but I'm taking the steps to get there Congratulations on realizing that you deserve so much better! Link to comment
harmonious Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Thank you for posting this, Carebear. Like others have said, it is truly inspirational to read. But personally, what affected me the most was to read your words and realize that I'm not the only one who had those moments of absolute panic and thought "this can't be happening". Those moments have been the scariest part of this, for me. It feels less scary knowing I'm not the only one... Link to comment
Benson Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I needed this post when I read it last night. thanks. Very inspirational. Link to comment
i2oadi2unnei2 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 CareBear53187, great post! After 3 months, I'm finally past the denial stage and moving forward. I'm now working on moving toward forgiveness, acceptance, and true love for her which is to let it ALL go... Take everything I've given you (her) and remember me for who I am because I AM unique and I'm irreplaceable! CareBear53187, you've given him all what you have, you've earned what you deserve and you deserve better! Link to comment
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