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i need some advice please. i think i'm bisexual

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Ok, first things first, i'm a girl who so far has only been attracted to guys so far really but i met this great girl at a party. She had a camera phone and aimed it in my direction, i thought she was taking a photo of the people behind me but i felt flattered when it turned out she wanted to take a photo of me. I couldn't get to sleep that night because i was so excited at having met someone so amazing. I felt attracted to her and for the first time in ages i wanted to actually have a great social life.

I think this makes it clear to me that i might be bisexual but i've never been attracted to any other girls before and she has quite a boyish appearance. I'm still confused funnily about my sexual orientation but i guess i'm a bit daunted by if its true how do i deal with it, do i tell all my friends or keep it quiet as i'm very shy. I get embarrassed enough with my friends talking seriously about sex too loud in public, how very silly of me, i know

I don't know what to do about her though as well, i want to get to know her as a friend at least but i think i made a fool of myself when i texted her today. And she didn't reply after i apologised for if i'd accidently offended her, i'm going to give her space and wait a few days before i try talking to her again. But how do i know whether she may be at all possibly attracted to girls?

Sorry about the long rant here but i wanted to make sure i was as clear as possible. And thank you so much for even taking time to read this

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The only person to discuss this with, may be a therapist, you don't know if this is just a "curiosity phase" and for right now, it might be best to find a "happiness" and "willingness to have a social life" within yourself, before you start seeking it "through someone else", whether it be a man or a woman.


Do you see yourself in a future with a woman, being a couple through the good and bad times in life? Making a commitment to only be with her for a long term relationship?


Be careful to not just think it terms of "sexuality", that's is not what it's about, not in the big picture, it's not an "identity", to latch on to.. it's so much deeper than that, all human relationships, when mature, kind, respectful, and realisitic, are to be considered on a VERY REAL level, much further than the intitial "attraction".


Although you may be curious, you owe it to yourself to think this through in a realistic, respectful way, not just a "I felt so good in that moment"... that "moment" may pass, with a man or a woman, it's more important to seek who YOU are in regard to your quality of character, and how you choose to respectfully approach life, and others. The "sexuality" is only a tiny spec of what is of value in the big picture, and should not be explored until you know yourself better. Putting the cart before the horse here, can not only cause you great emotional pain, but that of someone else as well.


Take time to talk it through with a therapist, before you "act on this urge".... and as far as discussing it with friends, even if it's an innocent conversation, well unfortunately people have a way of "labeling" others if the topic is something they themselves are uncomfortable with, so before you go talking about your "sexualtiy" take the important step of finding out who YOU are as a person, and why you didn't feel like "having a socail life" until someone else took what might turn out to be just a shallow interest in you. Because YOU are interesting, and can find in yourself the reason to be social, have fun, and find others interesting, and grow into a classy, stable, kind, respectful hetero, bi, or whatever, but first become a woman of standards and class...

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Well, you're nearly 17, your hormones are raging, you could be aroused by the sight of two oranges at this point, so give yourself a break, and take the mature approach to think this all through, and to know that in life, there are times when we must think beyond the "moment" or the "initial feeling".... this will guide you to wise choices in life, and to happiness... self confidence, classy situations, a feeling of goodness in yourself. It's best to not "re-act" to our initial "feelings in a moment" at times, but instead find in ourselves what we "really" want to behave like, and WHO we really want to become... set a standard and value on your heart, mind, body, and live within it.

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I was stupid to have posted this, i think it is more grief than raging hormones right now that is making me feel like i need to find someone. I'm going to sort out the problems i'm having before even getting hung up on irrelavent matters like this. Sorry for wasting your time but at least you've helped put me back on track with my priorities

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It wasn't a waste of my time, you are worthy of thinking things through, and you've shown a great sense of style to have even made the thougthful gesture of tyring to figure this out instead of foolishlessly acting on it all... so you sent a text, just forgive yourself for it, and move onward and upward...


good for you, and you seem to have the gift of insight, to actually want to better yourself, and be more fulfilled by your own inner feelings, this can be helped by making a choice to do something that will empower your sense of self, like volunteering at a hospital, learning a new language, reading more, becoming a tutor to help a young child read, whatever you do, make it a worthwhile substance type of thing, it will not only make you more attractive and interesting to others, but you will feel so good inside yourself.. and not be too vulnerable to those 'moments of false feelings" that pass only too quickly, take the time to make an investment in YOUR quality of character, and endless miracles will be yours....

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You're not stupid for posting here, this is what this place is for, and it's better than worrying about it.


At your age it could be hormones flexing in a pattern they won't usually (it's not uncommon to have same sex attractions during the teen years) and either it will continue or it won't.


If you are bisexual, or gay even then how you deal with it is entirely up to you. If you choose to share this information with your parents, a few close friends, everyone you meet, a councillor or nobody, there is no right or wrong way, just don't feel bad or wrong about it because it's not. And it's your business and your business only.


What are you grieving?

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Oh honey, when we lose someone, so many emotions we are not even aware of are awakened in us, and we try to "find something that might balance" this extreme emotion.. that is normal, it takes maturity and class to not "re-act" to this need, but instead just feel all the feelings, and learn to respect life, and to take each day as a new challenge to be the best you can be for that day.... you are having a tough time, give yourself a break, and be proud that you were able to talk this all through and gain new perspective, that is a sign of the depth of your character, keep nurturing this part of yourself.. make it good and strong, and wonderful things are ahead for you....

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