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Even eHarmony rejected me?


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even eHarmony rejected me, awww crap...


"eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.


We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.


Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time. "

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Pay close attention to the fact that this occurs for about 20% of potential users! That means that you're not alone in thinking that you're somehow flawed. The same thing happened to me, as a matter of fact, and there are several other posts on this forum about a similar topic. All this means is that eHarmony is ruling out a certain percentage of the population who could be forming matches with each other if they were let onto the site...but no. Their message is a comment on their system, not on you as a person.

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eHarmony rejects you if:


a) You're separated but not divorced,

b) It thinks you're depressed (this is probably the most controversial one), or

c) It doesn't think it can find enough matches for you. (Probably if it can't find a local match when you initially submit it.)


It's not really a big deal, and, in fact, you might be saving yourself from some link removed.

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hey.. they rejected me to... and my sister and bestfirend... try this sight i met a really nice guy off here link removed


im on okcupid to but from my experience plenty of fish is easier and there are more pple in ur area on in , u can make a surch for pople who are less then 10 miles away

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I find all, or most any dating sites pretty frightening, god knows what these people are really like, guess I'm just a wussie......

not at that any method of dating has seemed to produce a committed relationship for me in a while so I could put all this dating stuff behind me again ...


but I think that it is hopeful to have a mix of approaches to meeting new people.


Because on the Internet we don't get to share expressions and hear intonations, make eye contact, etc. -- it is best to understand this method as being different than encountering a new person in a market or bookstore -- which is different than asking friends and families to send some matches your way as appropriate -- or dating a work colleague or neighbor you've known for months or years and will have to see still if things don't work out.


Each method has its risks and opportunities and we have to do different things in a dating sense with each different method.


I see all this like a "mix" in the same way a marketer may use TV, radio, print, web, word-of-mouth etc. Every business in whateever market may need a different mix to get the most bang for the buck (time) in that market and no pun intended.


Online I've used link removed and eharmony. Just when I think one is producing better results than another, I change my mind. So here again a mix of the two is helpful. E-harmony seems to have the highest quality of people (apparently) but it still seems like the odds are really steep - like maybe after 1000 matches less than 10 have turned into any significant process of real familiarity, at least for me. Match has produced some good matches, too; and many more numbers -- but it seems to be a great reminder, also, of how different people are and how much we range in our relationship styles. It is sobering to say the least.


E-harmony is also fairly constrictive. If that was my only "channel" I'd be missing a great deal more opportunities - many, many more and vital opportunities not only to meet people, but also to get to know myself about what I want, don't want, and don't care about either way.


If anything, e-harmony is as much a distraction from the "real" world as a contributor to it. Life is out there, not in here.


Internet sites generate numbers of people that we can explore possibilities with. Those numbers are availabe through so many other approaches.

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Huh... I think my curiosity got the best of me... In fact, I'd say it owned me. I decided to look into the sites posted, just for the heck of it and actually found a profile of a girl I tried to get to know better, who I made sacrifices for, who ultimately disregarded my actions towards her. I took her somewhere and she just ugh... didn't even listen and... UGH... I'm getting mad. I thought she wasn't looking for anything, so I just shook it off, but now I find THIS!? What is with women these days? I even stayed up til 4am one night writing this girl a letter because I wanted to make sure I finished. All that energy wasted! And now after serveral months of carefreeness I'm back to feeling like a sack of crap.


Man, I should have known better, I saw a profile of her friend and just kept on scrolling down the list. Funny, as far as I know, she didn't seem like the type to go through this means to find someone. It insults me, but also for some reason I find it satisfying for what she did to me.

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I find all, or most any dating sites pretty frightening, god knows what these people are really like, guess I'm just a wussie......


I agree, this is why I don't do online dating. I have a profile on plentyoffish, but it's mainly out of curosity, would NEVER actually meet anyone from it. Like I've said before, a 25 year old lady might actually be a 60 year old man, lol.


And before anyone says it, I do NOT think there is anything wrong with online dating. Avoiding it is simply a personal preference, nothing more.

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I have tried just about EVERYTHING as far as dating sites go. I have done link removed, link removed, yahoo personals, etc, etc. I havent had much luck on any of them. When I did link removed, I had a couple of matches, but none that were worth me spending over $100 for 3 months on. I work night shifts, so its REALLY hard for me to meet people. If anyone out there has any suggestions, feel free to send them my way!

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