I don't know what to do now.

[exc]

Okay...to comprehend the current situation, you gotta know the back story. I'll include a summary.

 

Around December of last year, the girl I liked for 3 years (M) told me that she "kinda" liked me, so I was like, SCORE. Over christmas, we did very little things, and at semi-formal in late January, she decided she didn't like me, and didn't want to go out with me, and dumped me. (Not that we really went out to begin with)

 

I was kinda emo about it, you might have remembered some of my topics from back then, whatever. Flash forward to May-June. Around then, I remembered this girl (J) I used to like in elementary school. I met her at math class, she was my best friend's cousin (he wasn't my best friend at the time), and I thought she was pretty cute. Through some crazy coincidence, she plays maple story, as do I, and we met again.

 

I invite her to a couple outing with my friends, since she knows a couple of them, and it goes fairly well. My best friend tells me that she really does like me too, and I am so glad, not a worry in the world.

 

Then diasater struck. My "ex" comes and tell me how over the couple of months that I havn't really been in her life that she realized that she really liked me. Gave me a huge touching speech and all. Hard to say no, right? Especially when I am not even sure of Janice's intentions. I decided to just go along with it for now.

 

So I offically got my first girlfriend. Woot? No. I kinda hinted to Janice that I had a girlfriend, and even revealed it to her through a maple story conversation in friend chat, while talking to someone else. Seems like she got the message, when we went to wonderland (think six flag) she was fairly cold to me. After a water ride, she was all wet, and she was wearing white, so I decided to offer her my spare shirt, as a gesture of friendship. Apparently, she took this the wrong way and thought she had a chance (oh she did, my girlfriend wasn't there, and man, resisting is hard) We were pretty close through out the evening, even though nothing happened, I had a quick meeting of her parents, nothing much after.

 

After this, I had a huge dilemma. Break up with my girlfriend of less than 1 month for J, who arguably came first, or stay with my girlfriend? After careful consideration and consult of some of my closest friends, and LUE, I decided to go for J. I asked her out to a date on the boardwalks of Habourfront, and through out the date, it was pretty good, except she was just so god damn quiet. Now I realize it's probably because she's shy, but I was stupid and didn't realize it then. I was fustrated and didn't know how to deal with it. I did it the worst way possible. Pretending nothing happened. I ignored her from then on, and I havn't talked to her on MSN or call since, and I stayed with my girlfriend.

 

Flash forward again, November. After much thought, I realized my gf and I has nothing in common. I mean, it's good to be different to keep things fresh, but we had NOTHING in common. We were practically opposites. She also hid my existence from her parents and can't go out much. Not her fault, but still, it bothered me a lot. I also realized the horrible mistakes I've made (not that I didn't realize them before, just that I didn't feel like I needed to do anything about it) I broke up with her after 5 months.

 

Thanks to the magic of facebook, I came into contact with J again. At first we were just exchanging formalities, oh hi, how are you, oh it's been okay, you? Etc. Then we realized we had so much in common (I realized this before as well) and I thought she was still as attractive as when I left her. I was also kind of surprised at how warmly she reacted to me. I thought I had a chance.

 

I was wrong. Probably. I don't know. Looking through her wall, and through some mutual friends and her cousin/my best friend, I found out that she's goin...well, not going out at the time, just an internet relationship with someone from Virginia (we live in Toronto), that she met on maple story. I know my sources might not be 100% accurate, but the virginia part and internet relationship part should be. How she met him might be iffy.

 

So now, this guy, 2 years older than us, is here in Toronto to visit her. I think that's freaky as hell, I would never go out with someone online. Then again, I got back in contact with her online, so I'm not one to talk. Maybe I just want her because I can't get her anymore, but yeah, I don't know what I'm thinking.

 

Another part of me keeps thinking that she's inviting me to go places with her friends just so she can get back at me. Or to show me that she didn't need me. Or maybe because I invited her to a couple things with my friends...I don't know.

 

I don't even know what I want, or what I should do. Any advice on that?

 

SUMMARY: Liked girl A for 3 years, go out for short time, dumped, like girl B, girl A comes back, goes out with girl A for 5 months, broke up with her, kinda think I like girl B again, not sure.

[exc]

Anyone got any suggestions?

 

I've kinda decided that since she's gotten over me, I should do that same...but should I at least apologize about before or what?

[BellaDonna]

Hi there. I read your story.

 

I always believe in this general rule of thumb: if there are 2 people that you cannot choose between, chances are that neither of them are the right one for you.

 

J has probably moved on because she was second best to your other GF a bunch of times. That's a risk you took when you made her 2nd best.

 

I think it would be wise for you to move on and start a relationhsip with someone totally new, on a clean slate.

 

BellaDonna