am I making too big a deal of the lack of sex or not?

[Mar]

Alright, this is pretty basic, I'm SURE it's happened to thousands of other people....but, as I'm not thousands, just one, and this is new to me, I need some wise words. I've been living w/my fiancee for the last two years. He's SO not into sex, apparently, since we've only had sex once in the last year and a half. He DOES have his good qualities, but they don't make up for the lack of affection, the nitpicking, etc. And I have this guy 1/2 a world away, in Sweden (I'm in the US) who adores me and is friends with us both. He thinks my fiancee doesn't deserve me, and that I should sever the relationship if I'm unhappy. I'm not sure if I'm making too big a deal of the lack of sex or not, but I think NOT. To my mind, affection and sex and all that strengthen a relationship, and I feel like I have a roommate right now. Am I blowing this out of proportion?

[Progressive]

Hmm...... (sounds like my relationship!

 

A lack of sex in a relationship can leave you feeling unloved, unwanted, undesirable and many other things. It does NOT mean he is being unfaithful or that he doesnt find you attractive, some people just do seem to have a low sex drive. Is there a reason as to why he doesn't want sex? Has he always been this way or is it a recent thing?

 

Saying that however, if you DO feel unloved in the relationship, you have to make the decesion that do you want to continue with your current partner? Do you love him enough to stay with him even with the low "passion" rating? OR do you feel that you aren't happy and that you would rather find someone else?

 

I SHOULD also mention communication! If you are unhappy, tell him! If you have never said that you miss the closeness part of the relationship he may not realize that you are feeling this strongly about it and thinks that you are fine with how things are? Next time you are together have a sit down and have a big heart to heart about how you miss how you used to be or how you would like you both to be in the future. You never know, he might surprise you!!!!

 

 

[Micksbabyboo]

While u may bot be blowing this out of proportion sex isnt the most important thing in a relationship even though it is one of the advantages of being in a commited relationship, and if you are unhappy with ur current relationship you should let ur fiance know befor its too late. About your friend in sweden do u think ur interested in him?...another thing you could do is talk to ur partner tell him how you feel about sex in a relationship. Good Luck hope my advice helps you a bit

Love,

Dc

[Rock Grisham]

Don't walk........run from this relationship as fast as you can. There is not a heterosexual man on the face of this earth that would only want to have sex once in a year and a half, with someone he professes to love. I would bet all the money I have, that this guy is gay and living in denial. My wife's first boyfriend in high school was gay, and he didn't tell her until they'd been "dating" for a few months, and she had been wondering why he wasn't interested in sex, making out, etc.

Don't kid yourself. Sex is not the MOST important part of a relationship, but it is still very important!! If you're not having sex now before you're even married, it will only get worse once you are married. Get out FAST!!

[JB96EX]

There is not a heterosexual man on the face of this earth that would only want to have sex once in a year and a half, with someone he professes to love. I would bet all the money I have, that this guy is gay and living in denial.

 

I'll take that bet! How much you got!

 

But seriously though, if sex is important to you, It's important to you. I would NOT want to live my life deprived of it, or getting it through clandestine measures. Talk to him about it,, Openly and truthfully, If it's resolvable, cool. If not you have a decision to make.

 

Now maybe you could talk to my wife. See, I'm not gettin any either!