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I dont know what to do!

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I am 23 and recently Divorced, I had a restraining order on him for about a year and a half before the divorce was final but now he is allowed to have contact with me because we do have two kids together and I have soul custody of our kids, We did PCS to Germany however I was only there 6 weeks and found out that he moved his girlfriend in ONE WEEK AFTER I left him and at that time she was already pregnant with his kid! Today 12/29/06 I (9 months after the divorce was final) find out he is already married to this girl and they have two kids together!! My youngest son is named Noah Trystan and one of his kids he has with her (my son is older) is named Trystan!!! I feel that is NOT FAIR to my son that he has a "half brother" with his name!!! I am half tempted to legally change my sons middle name!!! Please someone help me I am totally crushed and I feel my heart has been torn out of my chest because him and his new wife named their son after the one him and I already have together!!!I am the one who named my son and feel this is just cruel and very unfair!!mad I cant go on anylonger before I break down so please someone I need advice and alot of it!!! HELP!!!!!

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The first thing you need to do is to calm down. Relax. Take a breath. The next thing you need to think about is why do you care about your ex and what his new hunny have named their son? Why do you think this is not fair? Do you think he did it because he knew it would get you upset and angry? If the answer is yes, then you are playing right into his hand. This type of reaction is exactly what your ex wants from you. Now, knowing that you need to be smarter and stronger then him.


Do not give in to playing the type of games that he is obviously playing with you. If he knows how to make you upset and enjoys taking pleasure from your pain then you need to recognize this and stop giving him what he wants. You are only hurting yourself and worse your children too.


You need to be the strong parent here. Obviously your ex is irresponsible and immature. Don't waste anymore time on someone like this even though you're hurt and you have a history with him. It's understandable to be hurt and angry but don't let those things take control of your life and actions because that's exactly what he wants.


You can't change what has happened. You can only change how you will deal with what has happened.

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Raise your kid the best you can and try to ignore him, even though ignoring someone can be so hard to do. Just think you broke up for a reason and as littlelion says don't waste time on him, he is immature and irresponsible.


Turn your anger into something productive

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