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All my friends see me as their big brother!

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All my friends, especially my friends who are girls, see me as their big brother! I naturally am a nurturer/caretaker so I can't help but be concerned about the people I care about and always worry about their well being. This is normally not a problem as I love all my friends, but recently, something happened. I was hanging out with one of my friends who is a girl in her room, and she was telling me that there weren't any sweet caring guys left and she really wanted someone to just take care of her. Then she started changing her clothes right in front of me! She didn't do it in a sexy or teasing way, just the way someone normally changes clothes. It hit me that she didn't see me as a real guy. Emasculating much? I like that my friend trusted me enough that she would be so vulnerable in front of me.(she was completely naked, but had her back turned to me most of the time) How can I get people to see me as a real guy and not just their protective older brother?

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For starters, how old are you? And do you hang out with more male, or females?


A good way to "man-up" is to hang out with more guys. And don't run to your female friends needs at the drop of a hat, you're not their girlfriend! Guys who get caught in the "friend zone" don't realize it, but they're just like any of her other FEMALE friends.


As far as your friend changing in front of you, enjoy the view brother =]. Don't try doing a 360 with the female friends you already know, and turn into Mr Macho Man, they'll see it, and be able to tell it's an act.


Start hanging out more with your male friends, if you don't have that many, try to make some. And from now on when you meet new females, stop being their shoulder to cry on. Make jokes, flirt with them, tell them how beautiful their jugs are, show them your'e a man!

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I think you are almost there, as the girls really like you.


You just need to show some more interest in them as girls/women too. When the friend of yours feels comfortable enough to undress in front of you, I guess, that its because she has never seen you really flirt or hit on a girl.


Try to find out what blocks you from flirting with girls or pursuing relationships with them.


And please, do not try to act like someone you are not.

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I'm 18 and I hang out with a group of about 5 guys and 4 girls. We have known each other since the start of junior high. I'm a year older than them and we are all into japanese animation (I am japanese, most of them are american) and tend to interject a lot of japanese phrases into normal conversation. All the girls call me "onii-chan" which is japanese for "big brother" (not uncommon when a girl is trying to sound cute) and all my guy friends call me "Keitaro-sempai" (Keitaro is my actual first name, "sempai" means elder classmate and is a term of respect). I hang out with the guys probably more than with the girls, but we all get together as much as possible. The girl who undressed in front of me only lives two doors down the street from me so we are always at each others houses. I guess you could say she's my best friend. My feelings toward her are...mixed. I would never want to do something to make her feel uncomfortable or chase her away.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey... Ok firstly being a big brother to people isnt a bad thing! I mean i have tones of guy mates and they basically are all brotherly figures to me. Simply because i try my best to become good friends and yeah. I know it sucks being the mate. I'm the "friend" to evey guy i know basically. But i recently realised that it means your a good person. It means they trust you and love you for you. Why would you want to change that? If you like that girl then talk to her about it. Just because you are so close to them doesn't mean they haven't felt the same thing about you. Don't make her feel uncomfortable just explain how you feel and tell her you don't want thing to be weird now you've told her. But in the end your most likely not going to date any of those girls in your group. So please keep being that person. Don't turn into some jerk because you want to be seen as manly. You'll just lose your friends.

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