I need your help...

[Tshwane]

i WON'T GO TOO MUCH IN THE PAST, but rather my ex and i broke up because she lied to me. Please search the forums if you want any background.

 

i've known her for 4 year and we went for out 2, and had on-off relationship for the other 2. a month ago she came saying "she can't imagine her life without me."

 

Now, she regrets what she did in the past but she's never too open with me. e.g She was in rela... like 3 months ago and she told me that she went to this trip with friends, meanwhile the then boyfriend was there and she never told me about him(i asked before). Her excuse was that she wasn't really into him so in her mind she wasn't really a "boyfriend".(i found out through a mutual friend, she confirmed, 2 weeks later she wanted me back saying she never told me because i was pressuring her into getting back together and she wanted it to be her own decision without my motivation, she claims they were not together anymore when the friend told me).

 

Now my problem is i don't trust her, she's not a good communicator and sometimes i feel she fuels my insecurities. She's good person and i think she means well but i can't trust her. We've talked about this and she reassured that she won't hurt like before again.

 

I also feel like she's retreating into a shell, when she came back she was very eager but i when i asked and complained about certain things. she felt i was attacking her. She's not open like before anymore and i don't want to lose her. But i don't believe her even when she says she wants to be with me.

 

Would counselling help?

[GalaxyC]

Counselling might help but will she go for it and actually open up and tell the truth? Or will she manipulate that as well? Trust makes or breaks a relationship. If you can't trust her then there isn't any point in pursuing it because you'll never be happy.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

I dont really think Counselling could help this situation but i think time can.

[Tshwane]

she has agreed to counselling, but im also hoping i can find another way instead of just counselling.