College Breakup

[kennywest]

My girlfriend and i have been going out for about a year and a half. We both left for college about a week ago. I am on a campus with another 1,500 freshman, while she is at a commuter school. Before we left, we both agreed that we could "hook up" with other people if we wanted to but we would talk everyday and that eventually we would be exclusive again. So within my first week I did "hook up" with someone after I had been drinking. I felt like I didn't want to do it and I ended up feeling sick to my stomach because I love my girlfriend too much. The next day my girlfriend and I talked and i didnt have to heart to tell her what happened. Then she decided to say that she never really wanted to "hook up" with other people anyways. She said that if I did, she wouldn't be able to go out anymore. So...what do I do? I understand how she feels, especially since she realizes that she is not on a campus with lots of new people to meet. But I am in college and didn't mean to do anything that would hurt her. I wish I had never done it...but if I tell her all this she will be so hurt that We might never be together again. I cant do any school work and i cant focus on anything but this. How should i feel and what should i do?

[in_the_mirror]

u need to tell her cuz she will be more hurt if you keep it from her and she finds out from someone else. you need to be honest and say well it did make you sick and you didn't realize before that, that she didn't want to hook up with anyone else. tell her you thought she would have done the same maybe. it is kinda unfair for her to take back something she said considering that is a big choice to make in a relationship. and you have to let her know that you love her and it was just a mistake that you wish you never had made but you know you can't take back.

[hellojello]

My bf and I have been together almost 2 years, and we both started college a week ago. I live there while he commutes, and I think he feels a little left out, or that he doesn't belong in my life anymore. We haven't broken up, but he is constantly asking what I'm doing or where I'm going. I feel a little cramped like I can't do anything. I think maybe it's better you left on terms that meant you could have space, because although you love your gf, you've gotta really know what it's like with other people. Sometimes I wish we had broken up...

 

Anyway, if she's taking back the fact that you both had space, then you might just want to talk to her about it. Say that you were under the impression that you were free to see other people. If she really meant it the first time, then she'll understand, and if you want to stay with her, you've gotta realize she's gonna start being a lot more protective over you than she was before.

[kennywest]

edit:

 

i apperciate the advice so far, but i have some more to say.

 

I love my girlfriend so much that i cant stand it. I wish i had never done what i had done becasue i feel like i am the worst person in the world. But the truth is...i wouldnt have known how strongly i felt about her unless i had "hooked up" with this other girl. I know i should tell my girlfriend all this but i cant...because it would end the romantic love she had for me, and she has told me that. Would it be so wrong if i took this experience and learned from it, and never say anything. I dont want to be with anyone else now...but this is eating me up on the inside and even if i wanted to tell my girlfriend i wouldnt know what to say.

 

i know ive said a lot again....but if anyone could anwser this questions and point me in a direction i would apperciate it ....

[hellojello]

Well...

 

I recently went on a vacation, and met a guy....ya know. It was harmless because I'll never see the guy again, didn't get a number, none of my friends even knew. So the thing is, I didn't say anything, bc it made me have that passion for my bf back again. It was great. So as long as you are THAT safe, knowing that no one will let your gf know, then you can just LEARN from the experience and not do it again. You can learn from your mistakes, or you can do them over and over again. You choose. Just make sure she won't find out in later months when you are in love and very happy and get even MORE mad then she would if you would have just told her in the first place...