A or B or....what?!

[tellmebaby]

I need some input and advice on another friend situation, its with a different friend. Apologies if this ends up being a long post, thanks in advance if ya read it!!

I think i have posted about this girl before but the thing between us is that, she told me a couple months ago that she used to have a crush on me a few years ago and then she told me she liked me again. She started to flirt with me alot, i didn't show a whole lot of interest and didn't try to flirt back, especially since im not a really flirty individual. but i told her i don't really feel that way with her plus she also already knew that i really liked this one girl and i was confused about it, so she knew but she told me she was really jeolous. Which leads me to this...other i am referring, i liekd her she didn't know she started to act weird blah blah so one day i just decided to tell her i liked her, she said she was straight..thats it. She started to act real strange and said some really confusing stuff to one of my close friends, and i don't really see her anymore cause i am fed up with her stupid games.

but anyway, back to the girl im talking about, she told me she liked me, would always ask if she could stay over, she flirted with me, one night we ended up making out (We both had some drinks but not a lot, and she initiated it), After that she starts telling me she was sorry and she is straight. Two days later i was with some friends and got aaalottt more drunk then i had planned, and somehow found my way onto myspace and messeged her telling her i liked her ( at the time i was confused about how i felt about her and htis other girl but i was drunk and i way to out of it to think about it) She replied back and told me i will find someone, i barely remembered writing her and i told her i was real wasted and she laughed and said she figured. Well time passed on and we didn't let it get in the way of our friendship and we still hung out a lot and just didn't talk about it, because she really didn't want to, and i thought its fine, i don't feel that way towards her because of thse feelings for this other girl etc.

 

For a while i started to think she had simply just used me when she kissed me, she seriously came on so strong and after that she was just like im straight...but a couple weeks later, she starts being all flirty with me again, she would do things like play with my hands and arms, or try to play wrestle with me...sometimes she would still spend the night and if i lied there and try to go to sleep she would jump on me trying to wake me up, or she would grab my hand and play with my hand, like before but more excessive, there is no extra bed in my house so she has always stayed in my room (i live with my parents lol) but now when I would wake up and she would be snuggled up on me (not my doing at all), its almost everytime she stays now, i have a huge bed...so i can't see that being an accident, plus before she wouldn't really do that, its a more recent thing. When we hang out in a group of our close friends, like if we are drinking i tend to talk to everyone because i am loud and outgoing, and it only seems like if don't pay attention to her she gets emotional and goes off by herself, (a while ago there was this one time where there were other people there she was talking to, and i was with 2 of my good friends i hadn't seen in a while so it wasn't around her that much, and she did the whole emotional thing, and it wasn't because she was getting no attention at all cause she was with people, it was just from me she wasn't getting a whole lot). This wasn't the first time either, shes done this kind of stuff before, and me and our friend would always try to talk to her, calm her down an figure out why she left everyone, and she wouldn't say anything....but when its just me and her shes fine and not emotional at all.

We also like 2 weeks ago, for a couple days jsut kept fighting and getting mad at each other for stupid stupid reasons, she left on bad terms when she went on holiday vacation with her family to go visit more family in ohio. Where she was staying she didn't have internet & couldn't call, so i hadn't talked to her for a week and a half. Randomly on christmas eve she texts me all happy and calls me, and we talk for a couple hours. Then today she sent me texts saying random things, then she called and we talked for real long time about christmas and stuff.

So heres my problem, even though we fought and with her being gone, i realize that i miss her so much, and i can't wait to see her, and im starting to feel like i like her a lot and now, she won't be home til 5 more days, which sucks! We are planning on spending new years toghether with like 3 of our close friends, and im so excited. I want to be able to talk to her about how i am feeling though, i hope i am not being silly and wishful thinking that she does like me and is scared/nervous because she has been continually being flirty and clingy with me, is that normal? Even though she said she was straight, i think she was just saying that....is it possible she said that because she is scared/nervous and confused?

 

i dunno....So what do ya'll think? Should i go for it, is it worth a shot?..i am a little lost about how to go about this, i don't want to screw up like i just recently did with this other person, but this is sort of a real different situation. I have thought of two options, Option A: i am wondering if it would be a good idea if first i should try to respond back when she is flirting with me, and see how that goes, lol think that would surprise her because like i said...i am not the flirty type..lol. Or B: would it be wiser to just come right out and ask her about it and tell her that i feel like she keeps flirting with me, and hold back telling her how i feel about her, and see what she explains, and then say more from there. any other things i could do!? any advice and help would mean a lot too me!!

[NKP]

Yeah flirt back with her, touch her alot and if she seems to like it go in for a kiss, if she kisses you back tell her how you feel and everything, and hope she feels the same. it really does sound like she is interested in you alot.

 

Good luck and i hope things turn out the way you want them too

[coffeeformylover]

I wouldn't kiss her unless you can tell that she wants one. That might blow things. I would go with option B. I told one of my best friends that I had a huge crush on her and then she told me she was straight and never wanted to talk to me again. It turns out that she was/is a lesbian and the reason why she told me she was straight and that she didn't want to talk to me again is because she had just come out of a bad relationship with another girl and didn't want to get hurt again. She also said that she knew that she would have fallen in love with me if she kept talking to me. I would go with option B and she where it goes from there. If she ends up admitting her feelings for you then tell her how you feel about her.

[tellmebaby]

everything is royally screwed up. AHHH

 

i appreciated both the replies, and i considered both those options, and i was going to go with B and talk to her, but...she got home yesterday and didn't have time to talk, and then we were at my new years party we were all intoxicated and one of my friends took it upon herself to get us to talk to each other, which of course went over horribly. This is not what i wanted or planned, i did not want to confront her while intoxicated i was going to wait til after new years, i have learned my lesson from talking to people about important things while drunk,this was just ridiculous and although i am not mad at my friend who tried to get us to talk, i understand she was trying to help me out and make it easier for me to approach her about it, but it just was a bad night.

So what happened was... the girl i like flipped out, got really mad she said " yeah ok i admit i was experimenting." and then i told her "well it kind of hurts me that you would do that to me, i sorta felt used in a way you know, i really though you liked me and you were flirting with me and even told me you liked me, so i have been really confused" she flipped out yelled something at me and was like "WHATEVER!" and walked out...which i don't remember what she exactly all yelled because i was drunk and she was too, and she went away from all of us and went to sleep.. in the morning she called someone to get a ride home while the rest of us wehre sleeping, and I haven't seen or talked to her at all today because she hasn't answered my texts or my messages.

 

she finaally answered me, and told me she was mad that i had talked to my friend about it, but at the same time she didn't care because she trusts this friend of ours. she was also upset because it messed up new years for her, and i told her i was sorry and i didn't want that to happen and i planned and talking to her after new years. She began to explain through messages that what happened between us was a mistake, and she didn't want that to happen with one of her friends and, and she didn't want to talk about it because it was awkward and she was embarrassed about it, and she didn't want me to think that she used me and confuse me.

thats what did happena nd thats how i felt but i also felt she did like me or she used me, and i felt like i started to like her, because i didn't know, and i told her i was really confused, and that she made it hard for me to bring it up with her because she told me to ignore it, and i didn't know what to so i talked to this friend of ours.

She kept trying to explain and said that how she was explaining probably sounds rediculous.

she told me she would talk to me and explain sometime.

I am going to ask her why she said she liked me and flirted, thats the only thing that i am confused about, how can you explain that other then, yes she did have feelings for me and wanted to kiss me, i had felt liek for some time she had been trying too. She blamed it on, being drunk but then said she really was only slightly tipsy and she was tired and thats why it happened.....so i don't know if i can believe that though.

Its either she did like me or she just said those things to kiss me to find out if she was gay. I can't think of any other reasons then that. So it makes me think now that she is saying its a mistake and taking it all back that she did sort of use me, so i don't know what to think or how to deal with trust and everything.

I am so hurt by all of this. this blows.