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What are we doing guys???


I am have been bloody lying down crying for last few hours basically!!!!




I have had enough of this crap! NO MORE. I am going out to get drunk, tomorrow night I am going to a night club!




Damn it. She is consuming my every thought. I want to get back at her so I know the very thing which will get back at her. ME BEING HAPPY AND NOT GIVING A DAMN!


Sorry, but I have just had enough of this crap.

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It's not the way!


Go with the pain, deal with it, accept your grief, it is natural, the physical feelings of sadness are natural. Alcohol will just make it worse, believe me I had a terrible experience with it a few days ago. I initially felt great, I was out with friends celebrating Christmas, some people back for the holidays who it was really nice to see, we drunk a bunch of beers laughed and joked, got a taxi into town....


I saw my ex, we didn't speak, she just glared at me, i shook my head in disbelief at just how crappy the situation was and why she would resent me so much when I was so good about the break up and she knows I was in Love with her.


So I walk home, drunk and cold, I then get this feeling


'Why should I have to come home! I have every right to enjoy myself if I want, I can go back out and have a good time'


I sat in a chair briefly and cried for an hour and a half. The alcohol certainly was a major factor in the whole miserable night, it had given me false joy temporarily in the brevity of the early evening, then one small emotional trigger and blam.....back to tears!


I thought I had done my crying, but that evening and Christmas Day have seen many tears!


In fact I was stupid enough to just call her and she couldnt talk cause her new love was there!


Just after I had a Christmas beer.


In other words, there is no drink or magic potion that will get you through any of this, you just have to go with the pain....


Believe me, I am like never before and I tell you now the best thing you could do is probably give up alcohol completely.


I know how tough it is man, I am right there with you, just suffering, really at the lowest ebb of the whole sorry affair.


But we will get through this, soon 2007 begins, make a symbolic new start.


But don't drink.

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If you play "The Verve - Lucky Man" it kinda makes * * * * ok...


...I am kinda pretty pissed and really just want life to glide on by. I've been in some odd situations but I have to admit, I havnt been in love to often, I been with a lot of women, I have slept with a lot of women... the one time on m,y life I chose to do things correctly * * * *t goes worng!!!!!!!!!! why?



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