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Pain, Pain Go Away, Come Again.........

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Hello Brokenhearted Brothers & Sisters:


I have been out of my last relationship for the past six months. I was with my ex for 5.5 years and three months from the altar when we had a dumb fight and she moved out of the house and never came back.


It did not make any sense to me since she was so attached and professed undying love and constantly told me how she could never leave me and that she had never been so tied in to man like this before. I was told I was the best man she ever had, the most honest, and the most compassionate.


I started the final fight but when I tried to diffuse it, I noticed she would not let it go. The when I saw how she blindsided me by leaving and there were never any discussions about her feeling unhappy or anything resembling it, I became very suspicious over the next several months as to what the reasons were.


She would never discuss the relationship with me after she left and then completely cut off all contact with me and my entire group of family and friends about two months after leaving. I was still perplexed and finally think I have put together a scenario that sounds like the most believable based upon the discussions I had with her and others.


It appears she had met a guy at her job and probably felt the strength to leave me over a dumb fight once she discovered she was falling for this guy. Now I am pretty sure that after six months without me, she has been involved with him in a love relationship for at least four months.


This is the most gut wrenching part of the breakup next to losing her. The fact that she would involve herself so quickly after our long-term relationship ended really devastates me. I know my ego hurts, but i also am shocked that she, who always bragged about how wonderful I was, could hook up so easily with another guy, especially so soon after leaving me and a pending marriage.


My head keeps going on and on about how I got dumped for another guy and now she has someone who does all the things I didn't or wouldn't do and that has made it easier for me to look worse than I ever really was and also to become insignificant in her new life. The last few times I spoke with her, I could tell I was not even a thought that would ever pass her mind anymore.


I was so in love with her and there are some things maybe some of you can help me with: First, I just keep reeling from figuring out that she most likely left me because she had someone else. Next, what are the chances that this rebound will succeed? and lastly, Thank God, I didn't marry her if she could hook up so easily or possibly leave me for another.


I obsess on this constantly. I keep thinking about her being with someone else, lauhging, kissing, doting. I never thought we would ever be apart. This has been a major blow and it has been six months, but I only figured out the other guy theory over the past few weeks and that has set me back and I lost my NC time and am back at three days.


Hopefully, some of you can throw out some words of wisdom my way.



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I am glad that you realised that she is not the one for one.


Most of the time rebound relationship does not last.


But why are you concern about her relationship with this other guy would last or not? It does not concern you anymore because both of you are over.


During the healing road from a break up, occasionally there would have some relapse. So keep yourself busy. And live your life to the fullest.

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