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Spending all your time with your SO


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I've heard that alot of relationships die because when they first get together they spend all their time together and then after a certain time they get tired of each other.


Just out of curiosity, how long til that does happen? Also, what is it exactly that kills the relationship? Does one of the parties get pissed off because the other doesn't want to spend all their time together or what?

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Happened to me when I was young and stupid... after a while (two months for me) of seeing each other every day it stops being a "treat" and then becomes a routine and eventually an obligation. No one wants to feel like a boyfriend or girlfriend is something they gotta go do every day. Eventually the person who is less in love will decide that they don't want that kind of forced relationship.

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It's hard to put a number on that, since everybody is different. Some people are very independent by nature, so it may take only a couple of weeks of spending every free moment together to grow sick of it. Some are "clingier," so it may take a few months.


What "kills" the relationship, in my opinion, is the fact that there is nothing left to fuel it anymore. Relationships cannot feed off of themselves, they need some outside nourishment -- work, other friends, hobbies, etc. The easiest (and probably most simplistic) way to look at it is, if you spend all your time together, you don't do anything else, so eventually you don't have anything to talk about. You also start getting annoyed with the other person because you're always around him/her, yet you don't have that deep loving bond yet that allows you to gracefully resolve conflicts when they arise, so you start fighting and drifting apart. And you're right, if one person wants space and the other doesn't, that can be a problem...

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We spent almost everyday together and we'd talk on the phone every single night until we fell asleep. The fire never died out, but problems arose when I became insecure and posessive of him... we eventually broke up because the "fighting" was too much. Be careful though. Do not become so dependent on this person because when they're gone, you're left with NOBODY because you pushed everyone away to be with your gf/bf, which makes the break-up THAT much harder because it's as if you lost the only person in your life...

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