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Poll for the Cheaters Out There: Does a cheating partner cheat because.........


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If you were the cheating partner in the relationship, do you think you cheated because there was something lacking or wrong in the relationship, or do you think it is just part of your character? Opinions please. Thanks!!


I know, circumstances are different for everyone, but I was just wondering overall why someone in a committed relationship decides to cheat.

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I would say there are all kind of motivations people use for cheating, but at the bottom of it all is a fundamental selfishness or selfcenteredness, where they feel entitled to have for themselves whatever they want, even if it deeply injures their spouse and children.


So layered on that could be boredom, desire to 'pay back' their spouse becuase they are angry, sexual addiction, feeling alienated from the spouse etc. Those higher level reasons are what they use to convince themselves it is ok to do it, but fundamentally, the reason is they are selfish and immature and care about themselves more than their spouse and family.

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I've only ever noticed anyone other than my partner when there's been a serious problem with the relationship for a long time. I've not cheated properly, but when I've found myself fancying someone new it's been a good sign that the problem I was working on in my relationship just isn't salvagable.


I'm sure there are much different things motivating different people, though. I've been cheated on, and the guy seemed to genuinely care to the point of hysteria about each of the three of us he was with and just not have been able to sort the situation out in a way that was honest and decent. He then went on to feel terribly sorry for himself for being in such a bad situation!

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I cheated on my ex who i was with for just about 4 years countless times, starting only a couple of months after we started dating. I think my problem was that I looked at him as more as a best friend than a boyfriend. We liked the same things, he liked to gossip and shop and such... We had a lot of problems in the relationship which I do believe, in part, contributed to the cheating. The first time I cheated on him was with my ex boyfriend who I was still so deeply in love with. The second time was in Paris, on a whim, not as serious.... But to get to the point, in this case, I believe it was because of lack of intimacy and true love...not my personal character.


I've been with my boyfriend now for 9 months. I have never been happier and the thought of being with another man repulses me. I wouldn't even CONSIDER it.


Now, maybe it's simply because I've grown up and my morals and maturity have changed. But perhaps it's just because I've found someone who truly makes me happy.

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I agree with bestrongbehappy...... People cheat because they are SELFISH. If something in your relationship is that bad to make you want to cheat, than have the courtesy to get out of it first. Then you can have all the sex you want. I had cheated long ago, I wasnt happy in the relationship, but that didnt make it okay. I was being selfish.

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