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The big Daddy shaped gap under my tree.

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Hey Fans,


It's Christmas 5 hours here in the UK, My boyfriend bought me the gorgeous new rock boots i've been wanting for years, i'm pretty sure my sister bought me the designer make up i'm too poor to afford myself.


I posted all my cards out, wrapped and delivered all my presents, put up the tree and turned on the sprakling lights, that reflect the pretty tree tinsel all around the room, lighting up the presents underneath, with the fire turned on and the frosted window, my lounge honestly looks like a greetings card.


Yet i fear that when i come down the stairs in the morning, my eyes will bypass the presents, my nose with ignore the smell of bacon from the kitchen and my heart won't be warmed by the glowing fire.


The huge daddy shaped void under the Christmas tree will break my heart truly completely.


It's four months today daddy since you grew your wings and became an angel. It's strange how little has changed here, your cars gone now, mummy couldn't bear to see it in the drive any longer, but your clothes still hang untouched in your wardrobe, the final cigarettes you smoked, sat in your ashtray. Your smell still fills your "Den/office". I'm sat here right now, typing this message to complete strangers using your computer, my fingers tapping on the keyborad just as yours did the night before you went to heaven.


I know your not far away daddy, i can feel you close by as i sit here alone, but never alone anymore because you're with me. I wish i could be hugged by you, safe in your big bear arms, warm and protected from the world.


I want to tell you i love you daddy, you were my protector and provider, my inspiration, my friend.


I will look after mummy and moo, i'll try as hard as i can to give them everything you would have done daddy.


Merry Christmas xxxxx


I know my post is random, but i needed to write and i hope you don't mind, Please cherish your loved ones, hold them tight and thank god for them.


Sugar xxxx

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