way overprotective mom, pls help me.

[Diavola]

Hi everyone, I'm a 16 year old girl who has a way overprotective mom, and i don't know what to do anymore. Since I was a kid she was very overprotective, she didn't even let me play with my little cousins outside because she feared they hit me or that I fall. When I grew up it was the same, she didn't let me go out with anyone thats not her. I've lost alot of friends that way. Now I have a bf of 1.5 year, she has always chaperoned us and my bf didn't mind. But she promised me that when I turn 17 she would let me go out alone with him. Now she's saying that it's till I turn 18. And that hurts, cause it is a bit weird that she follows me everywhere, and my bf friends always like to stare. It makes me feel like I don't belong and very insecure.And I'm so afraid that my bf gets tired and go get a girl that he can rly go out with. I just want her to give me a bit more space, I've tried talking to her but she doesn't reason to anything I say. Pls help me, I don't kno what to do...

[baby_yn]

I have pretty overprotecting parents too, especially my mom, sometimes she goes crazy and jus starts screaming at me desperatly. But what i do is stay calm and sometimes ignore her and do what i feel i deserve. If you and your boyfriend have been going out for 1 and a half year then i really do not think you need to worry about him much. If she did PROMISE to leave you alone when you turn 17 then make her keep that promise somehow. Or prove to her you are really responsible somehow (i really dont know how though).

[MovingOnUp]

Sometimes when talking face to face it's difficult to actually listen to the person if they are telling you something you don't want to hear. Maybe you could write your mom a letter explaining to her how you feel. As it is less confrontational that a conversation she may read it several times and take the time for the information to sink in. You cant argue with a letter! You can only read it.

[PinkValiant]

I had the same problem you did...except I pulled off the 'rebel' stunt and now I can barely talk to my mother without fighting because she doesn't trust me.

 

Honestly, talk to your mother. Show her a way in which you can be responsible. If you're going out with friends, let her know that you're a big gang or something. Carry a cellphone on you so that she could call you just to check up...but not every 20 minutes. Ask her if you can go out with your boyfriend alone during the daytime, then gradually move it till you guys can hang out in the evening alone or even at night. If it's during the day, she really has nothing to fear, right?

 

I hope this helped!

[Diavola]

thx for your help. I'll try that. Thing is she hardly lets me go out of the house fence. Sometimes she makes me think she has a mental disorder or something.

[abstar]

maybe she is scared to lose you...??

i know this is tough having to stay in but. maybe if you promise your mum a time to be home and NEVER break that prehaps she will learn to trust you...?

i love my mum and i have a bf of 2 years, and she wnt let us out after dark... it is just hard sometimes try to go with her- comprimize...and use boundaries and pretty soon you should be jumping over the hurdles... to a little bit of freedom.. best of luck. xx

(hope this helped)