geez, break ups really screw us up.

[cominguproses]

so i'm sitting here thinking....i'm an attractive, intelligent, funny, charismatic, loving person so WHY do i compare myself to my ex boyfriend's new fling? i stare at her myspace comparing myself to her...looking to see if she's more fat than i am, dresses worse than me, listens to bad music...just ANYTHING to make myself feel superior because my break up has screwed up my self confidence so much.

 

so my question is, how do we gain our self esteem back? how do we stop looking at our ex's new bf or gf's myspace profiles?

 

i just feel so defeated. like this break up has changed my life in the most negative of ways.

[kickedin]

so i'm sitting here thinking....i'm an attractive, intelligent, funny, charismatic, loving person so WHY do i compare myself to my ex boyfriend's new fling? i stare at her myspace comparing myself to her...looking to see if she's more fat than i am, dresses worse than me, listens to bad music...just ANYTHING to make myself feel superior because my break up has screwed up my self confidence so much.

 

so my question is, how do we gain our self esteem back? how do we stop looking at our ex's new bf or gf's myspace profiles?

 

i just feel so defeated. like this break up has changed my life in the most negative of ways.

 

i dont think we do soon....its a process and no one like to be rejected

[Boughs]

Its normal to compare... just don't let it bother you, and don't sit there on her myspace. Just gotta stop thinking about what he is doing. Figure yourself out first

[insofar]

I don't know where you are with your breakup or how long it's been, but in answer to your question, you just... stop. Force yourself to realize that they don't want you in their life and so make them no longer a part of yours. Stop looking at their MySpace, and if you're still talking to them, it might be a good idea to stop that as well (and delete them from your contacts... the act of actually doing that helps). Fill the space left by their presense with friends, family, and activities, and other people when you feel ready.

 

You are a great person that has a lot to offer someone. If one person no longer wants you, it's their loss, and it certainly doesn't preclude you finding someone else, someone better, who will love you for you.

[cominguproses]

you guys are right. its just hard to think positively in situations like these, as i'm sure all of you know. its crazy how much a breakup can kill your confidence, thanks for all your help though.

[wayner427]

I know how you feel. It's been 3 weeks, and every now and then I still think what my ex is doing. I'm still struggling, but I'm hopeful that the times of pain will become less and less as time goes on.

[mcnani]

yea i nearly lost it after seeing the girl that my ex may now be going out with (i say "may now" because as soon as i realized they were talking i stopped going to their myspaces so i have no idea if they're together or not)

 

but boy oh boy did that screw with my head. it still kinda bugs me, but you really have to try not to think about it. shut out any thoughts of him (and her) in your head and NEVER ever, EVER ever ever go to an ex's myspace again. it's like the worst idea ever- you WILL see something you never wanted to see and will never be able to forget (that is, until you're over him)... screws with the healing process.

[belinda_simone]

We need to make definite breaks with exes and force ourselves not be inquisitive about who they are seeing now.. very hard but it will save you this horrible feeling that you have to compare yourself with the new, 'improved' version of you. Try our best to move forward without looking back.. onwards and upwards!

I've just had a breakup 2 months ago. He has turned out to be the most hurtful person, espicially since the breakup, sending me emails about the girl he started seeing 2 days after we broke up (i ended it).. he has sent pics of a his new girlfriend who is "younger, prettier and has a better job" than me!! Can you believe this guy?!! If i had any choice at all i would not want to know about his life and new girlfriend AT ALL!!! We had been together for one year. I would have hoped for a bit more respect but true colours show thru when things get bad.. He's 38 years old too..you think he's be a bit more grown up..

Just do yourself a favour and don't look..

good luck

[valenski]

I think of it like this "I close the chapter of my life entitled my ex" turn over a new leaf and begin a new adventure. Its hard not thinking about your ex at first but eventually you learn to look ahead into to future and leave the past where it belongs, behind you.

[Lanterna Magica]

They screw you up if you let them, or won't let go of them...

 

The heal and teach you if you let go...

[GottaLetItBurn]

Oh man I'm totally with you on that one. I do the same thing over this girl that went for her Ex, and just seemed to forget about me. Its been over a year, but it still hurts, I hate the fact that shes with someone else but me, but it's a process.

 

Im a dude, and I do the same thing you do only in reverse. I don't care about weight or anything, just the style and how corny the other guy dresses.