Oh my god HELP!

[ShellNeverBeMe]

Ok I've posted numerous times about my tumultuous relationship. I changed my number 2 weeks ago because my ex blew up my phone at 5 am. Last Friday he showed up at the restaurant I work at and told his waitress to tell me hi, and when I had nothing to say in response he got mad. Well I checked his myspace last night and apparently he has a new gf. I got soooo jealous. I called him (with my number blocked) and told him that I was very jealous. I went to see him and we ended up talking. He said it wasn't his girlfriend, he didn't like her. It's obvious he still has feelings for me, he told me he did. I cheated on him though and I think that probably hurt him but he won't admit it. I love this kid with all my heart, but I'm not good at showing my emotions. I just get really mad when trying to express them. All I could say was that I missed him. I really love him though and I didn't know it until I saw this girl on his myspace. I don't know what to do. Is this fixable? It's so hard for me to get my feelings accross. Same with him. He has a hard time expressing them too. I just text him with my new number because I don't want to be the one calling him. I said "Use it don't abuse it." I want him in my life, I do care for him. I'm not going to chase him. He has my number now, he can come find me. Should I tell him how sorry I am and how much i care for him? I told him over and over that I missed him but I don't want to push him away. Please help me.

[lunatic]

I cheated on him though and I think that probably hurt him but he won't admit it.

 

 

You know I am not one to judge you here but, if this were me I would BE HURT! You know what if you cared for him so much then I think you should be chasing him around since you cheated. If he means that much to you well you know what you need to do.

 

Sorry but, if this were me I would have bailed out on you already. Why did you stray from this man if you love him so much? What was the status of the relationship before you cheated?? There really is no excuse for cheating in my book.

[DN]

If you cheated and want the relationship fixed - you are the one who has to make the move to fix it.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I went back and read your previous threads. Pardon my bluntness but based on what you have written, your relationship was extremely immature. Both you feed to the fire. Both of you keep jabbing one another, hurting one another, and trying "one-up" in how you can hurt one another. Yourt relationship never blossomed into love, compassion and mutal respect. You both never bonded, grew together. Instead you break up to make up.

 

I am sorry, but I have a very difficult time believing that if someone TRULY loves the other, he/she would cheat. Or even conceive hurting the other person with such a betrayl and then telling the other about it. I understand he was unfaithful to you but does that make it right for you to do the same?

 

If I were you, I would leave him alone. Think about what you contributed to the relationship's downfall and how you can learn from your mistakes. Reflect and learn from this. You are never going to have a fulfilling and loving relationship until you realize what you have done. And he should do the same.

 

Sorry my post comes accross as harsh. Hang in there.

[Juliana]

Oh, hon, you just said everything to us that you need to say to him. There really is no way to stay in control of everything, and not take any risks. Think about emailing him the things you've written here. If you care for him so much, don't you think it's worth it?

[ShellNeverBeMe]

I appreciate the bluntness. It was a torrid relationship; we are both crazy about each other but we did hurt each other tremendously. I thought about emaling him everything, but I don't want to push him away or inflate his ego. PLUS he is most likely seeing this other girl. I cheated on him because I didn't want to focus on him. I am terrified of getting hurt again. And I am immature when it comes to relationships. I don't know how to handle all the feelings I get, so I cheated. He has my number now, if he wants to talk he will call. Or should I just spill my heart out to him in an email?

[kellbell]

Well, based on what you wrote about him and his capability to hurt you like he has, I feel he will exploit your feelings about him and use them against you. He does not seem the type that would appretiate your feelings and know what to do with them.

 

I would just cool off for now. Concentrate on you, your family, and friends. Those are the people whom truly care about you and be there for you. And you have us on eNotalone too.

[dierberg]

Maybe you both need to speak with a professional - would you both be open to counseling?

[ShellNeverBeMe]

I don't think counseling is an option lol. He would definitely laugh at that.

[ShellNeverBeMe]

I really would like to tell him how I feel but he probably would just laugh and his ego would be inflated. I want things to work out so much but I don't know what to do. I know he was really hurt. I wish there was some way I could fix things.

 

[kellbell]

"I really would like to tell him how I feel but he probably would just laugh and his ego would be inflated."

 

This is exactly what I meant in my last post. He will exploit those feelings and confessions because he does NOT care. These is a small chance he will say, "hmmm, this girl really cares, maybe it is time for me to get my act together..."

 

My advice to you is to stop thinking about what COULD HAVE been and start thinking about what IS. Try not to dwell on the relationship's potential. The reality is you both had plenty of chances to experience the relationship's potential, instead you both brought the worse out of one of another.

 

Try to do things for you now. Take care of yourself.