I am so depressed! Need advice

[pinkbunnie]

My boyfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago. We were having some problems , like any other relationships who have problems. We argued many many times over something. Towards the end, we both werent happy and he chosed to break it up. We were toghether for an year and few month. We really did love/care for each other. We both treated us nice and good. On the side, we were having a lot of problems. I guess it wasnt meant to be.

 

We were in contact on and off after the break-up. Right now, i'm going through some emotional breakdown. I keep getting angry,sad,and upset. I just dont know how to control these emotions. I really do miss him and I really do want to be with him again. But, maybe not now but later if its possible.

 

I'm having trouble dealing with the "NC" with him. We tend to stop talking and one of us gives in and talk again. I need some help on this because I am weak as is and if he tries to IM me online I will reply . ( i dont want to be rude). And another thing I notice is, when he wants to talk he will IM Me and talk. If he doesnt he wont IM me and if I do he doesnt' seem talkactive? I just find this so werid and it pisses me off!! Part of me still think he may want to be with me again and part of me think he is completely over me. It is driving me crazy!!!

 

I'm going away to see my family in another country for the holiday. I'm leaving next monday. I really need it because I cant deal with this now. I am just so depressed over this.

 

 

Do you guys have any suggestions? I am so out of it.

[mr_neverlearn]

all i can say is i know how u are feeling!! and would be very interested 2 c what the great mind in here think!!!

 

today my ex was online and didnt say hello....it was so hard knowing she was there but nothing i could do or say!! yet a week ago she popped online and said hello and we had a very breif catch up!!!

 

just hope we all get through this

 

try a little smile

[cordelia]

Its hard to keep in contact after breaking up because you get into this mode where you are analyzing everything he says and what he meant by this or that or why he is not being that responsive. I've been broken up with my ex now for 3 weeks (after being together for a year) and we've kept in contact by email since then, but this time I am not replying to his last email. I just can't do it anymore.

You should try to avoid talking to him altogether. Yes its hard but when you keep talking to him it makes it that much worse! You guys broke up for a reason and obviously you were not happy either.

Either way you guys are broken up now so you need to move on without him contacting you and setting you back again each time.

By sticking with NC, you have nothing else to lose now and you'd be surprise how much better you feel once you've had the chance to clear your head!

[pinkbunnie]

yeah i know......it is hard......but im sure it'll be good when i dont talk to him for awhile................

 

part of me sitll wants to be with him.......and part of me doesnt.........a bit confusing..

[pothead]

move on find someone else to fill the void you are looking for, in time you can be friends.

[SolitoN]

I think you need to ask yourself what YOU want; do you really want to get back with him? Take your time and think about that (take a week if that's what it takes to delve deep and get an accurate answer).

 

If you decide that you do, the problems that led to your breakup haven't yet been resolved. You could let him know that you'd like to talk about some stuff with him, then let him know that you're interested in getting back together. If he seems receptive, bring up the issues that led to your break up and ask him if he'd be willing to work with you to address them. Both of you should take an objective look at what caused your breakup and see if you're willing to do something about it.

 

If the answer turns out to be no (you meet someone else, your feelings change over time, etc), then move on. There are PLENTY of people out there.