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Any genuinely comfortable women left?


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OP .. you're going to have problems. The people in this thread that stated self-esteem has to come from within are right.


My relationship of over a year ended and a large portion of it was because of my ex's self-esteem. I tried making her happy with herself, but of course I failed. Finally I was drained. I couldn't do it any longer. I couldn't sit there and try to make someone feel good if I knew it wouldn't work and it was wrong. She resented me for it, I think. She felt I was punishing her because I refused to be a slave to her insecurities as she was.


Until you love yourself it will be impossible for others to love you.




As for the rest of this thread that seemed to shoot off in weird directions:


The societal "beauty" has changed throughout the decades. I read the word "centuries" used to talk about the length of time women have been expected to look beautiful. Sure ... women (and men to a degree) have always been expected to look beautiful, but the definition of beauty has changed through the years.


The current view of "heavy" used to be beautiful years ago. Heavier women were seen as more healthy, and more desireable. The definition changes.


Being pale .. REALLY ghostly pale was popular back in Europe a couple hundred years ago. People would die their skin with lead and their hair with lye ... usually causing pretty serious illness, to make themselves pale and light haired.


The whole "women need to be skinny and tall" push started only within the last few decades. Go back just a short ways in the US's history and we weren't allowed to have women go around showing their ankles in public. Sex scenes in movies were two people fully clothed kissing then sugestively moving toward a bed before the screen blacked out. Now its all T'n'A TV


Priorities changed too. Back in the 50s a woman was described usually by how well she cooked and took care of children. I never saw the 'Leave it to Beaver' where the boss came over and said, "Ward, your wife has some nice breasts."


We're a media culture now. We love our media. We love our movies and TV and music and stars and glamour. It is true, that the media tries to force-feed people their version of beauty .... doesn't mean you have to eat it though.


Plus ... the media aren't the only shallow ones on this planet, and they aren't responsible for everyone's versions of true beauty or deal-breakers in relationships.

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Good points CC. I don't like when people blame "the media" for how they look when they are overweight. Get in the gym and eat well. Only person who can do that is you. But if you choose to be lazy and not do it (other than medical reason) no one is to blame but you.


Views have definitely evolved. When you mentioned, time it takes for a woman to get ready, my stomach turned. I remember when I used to not care how much makeup a woman used. Now I do. If she does use anything more than a teeny amount, she is just not for me. I don't want to date a clown lol.

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