2.5 mos. of NC. Ex may be at party, should I go?

[settinuplife]

I have been doing strict NC with my ex J for 2 months and 12 days. We were really close to getting back together before NC, but she was coming off a relationship with her most recent ex H and I found out that while she was making promises to me she still wasn't over her recent ex H from her myspace page.

 

So I immediately cut her off and went NC. I have had a few strange phone calls from un regognizable numbers with no voicemails, but it's been really quiet the last 2 weeks.

 

So H is having a b-day party at a bar and she has basically invited everyone including me and...my ex J (who is her ex too).

 

I am sorta friends, more like aquaintances with H, but we get along now and I do want to go to his party because he invited me several times and wants me there, but he also invited J and her new boyfriend whom she's been dating for 2 months, but I do not know if they're coming.

 

I have not seen my ex J for almost 3 months, been on NC for 2 months and 12 days. Part of me still loves her and cannot understand how she could replace me so quick, or even from H's side, how she could replace him so quick, as he is her most recent ex that she wrote this undying love blog on her myspace for him, which is why I went NC.

 

I do not know if J and her new bf will be at his party, I kind of hope not but at the same time I kind of want her to see what she's missing out on. I have lost weight and got a new haircut, been working out the whole time and I just look fabulous.

 

So should I go with the possibility of running into J after 2.5 mos. of NC looking the best I ever have? Or should I not go even though the honest reason to go is to wish H a happy b-day (I honestly hope my ex isn't there). I thought about sending a spy before I go in to make sure the coast is clear. I almost wonder if J is wondering if I'll be there because knowing H he may tell her that he invited me.

 

Would it be breaking NC if we are at the same party, but keep our distance and not talk? If I want her back someday is it best to stay completely away or make a presense looking great and make her think?

[2tragic]

Would it be breaking NC if we are at the same party, but keep our distance and not talk? If I want her back someday is it best to stay completely away or make a presense looking great and make her think?

 

 

 

YES. NC would be broken.

 

And if you are concerned about how much your new look will attract her, that states you are not ready to face her and stay broken up.

 

If sorta sounds to me like you would jump at the chance to get her back.

 

And that's all good except, you've worked really hard to maintain NC for the past 2.5 months....what' has changed in your life or hers that makes you feel confident that the two of you could give it another shot and not slide down the same ole spiral of breakin'up 2 makin'up and alotta misery in between AGAIN?

[whenamansloveisreal]

i would pass. i would need more time before i saw her looking all lovy with another man - in fact, i really never need to see that - lol

[mikeca]

i would pass, I stayed in on weekends for a long time before I was ready to go out...

 

I remember one time I knew it was too early, I was at a club and I kept looking at the door everytime it opened to see her first before she saw me, and she never came so I wasted the entire night.

[p_fred]

I wouldn't go either... too much drama.

[no_bad_news]

go but don't stay long.

 

you can go where you want, but don't expect her to be all excited to see you

[Sugarcube]

I would go. It is a good way of putting everything behind. As long as you are not going in hopes of something happening. It depends on where you are.